82 lines
2.1 KiB
Markdown
82 lines
2.1 KiB
Markdown
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---
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title: Died to Save Me
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date: 2018-08-27
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for: Sam
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---
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# Died to Save Me
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People often get confused
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when I mention the fact that I
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consider myself before I
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came out a different person.
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It's because that was a different person,
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they died to save me.
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The person I was did their
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best given the circumstances
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they were thrown into. It was
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hard for them. I'm still working
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off some of their baggage.
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But, that different person,
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even after all of the hardships
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and triumphs they had been through,
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they died to save me.
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They were an extrovert pushed into
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being an introvert by an uncaring
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community.
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They were the pariah.
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They were the person who got bullied.
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They survived years of torment but
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they died to save me.
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I understand now why the Gods
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prefer to use shaman-sickness to
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help people realize their calling.
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It is such an elegant teacher of
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the Divine. So patient. So forgiving.
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It's impossible to ignore everything
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around you feeling incomprehensibly crazy,
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because it is.
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Our system is crazy.
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Our system is incomprehensible.
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We only "like" it because we have no
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way to fathom anything else.
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"Awakening" is probably one of the
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least bad metaphors to describe the
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feeling of just suddenly understanding
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the barriers. Of seeing the formerly
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invisible glass prison walls we apparently
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live inside unknowingly.
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It's not just an awakening though,
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Not all of me made it through the process.
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Not all of what constitutes yourself
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(in your opinion) is actually a True
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part of you. Not all your thoughts,
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memories, ideas, dreams, wishes
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and even fears or anxieties are
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truly yours.
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Sometimes there's that part that
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really does have to die to save you.
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The part that was once a shining beacon
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of hope that has now fallen beyond disrepair.
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A thread of connection to a past that
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can never come to pass again.
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Memories or experiences of pain,
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trauma. It can die to save you too.
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You don't have to carry
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the mountains you come across,
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you can just climb them.
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When it dies, it is gone, but:
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you can sleep easier knowing
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they died to save you.
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