From b9467f224a9b365a48c8080df033b9fd0374501c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Christine Dodrill Date: Sun, 11 Oct 2020 18:28:18 -0400 Subject: [PATCH] the itch (#230) --- blog/the-itch-2020-10-11.markdown | 58 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 58 insertions(+) create mode 100644 blog/the-itch-2020-10-11.markdown diff --git a/blog/the-itch-2020-10-11.markdown b/blog/the-itch-2020-10-11.markdown new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0af295b --- /dev/null +++ b/blog/the-itch-2020-10-11.markdown @@ -0,0 +1,58 @@ +--- +title: The Itch +date: 2020-10-11 +tags: + - 100DaysToOffload +--- + +# The Itch + +I write a lot. I code a lot. This leads to people asking me questions like "how +do you have the energy to do that?" or "why do you keep doing that day in and +day out?". I was reading [this +post](https://aarontag.dev/2020/06/14/the-urge.html) that I found linked in the +Forbidden Orange Site's comments and it really resonated with me. + +At the core, I have this deep burning sensation to try things out to see what +they are like. It's like this itch deep in me that I can only scratch with +writing, coding or sometimes even just answering people's questions in +chatrooms. This itch is a catalyst to my productivity. It powers my daily work +and makes me able to do what I do in order to make things better for everyone. + +However, sometimes the itch isn't there. Sometimes it makes me want to focus on +something else. Trying to do something else without the itch empowering me can +feel like swimming upstream with heavy chains wrapped around me. My greatest +boon is simultaneously my greatest vice. + +I don't really know how to handle the days where it's not working. I try to save +up my sick and vacation days so that I can avoid burning myself out on the bad +days. Things like this are why I am a huge fan of unlimited vacation policies. +Unlimited vacation does mean that I get paid out less money when I leave a job; +however it means that I have the freedom to have bad days and let the good days +tank me through the bad days so that I come out above average. + +Trying to explain this to people can feel stressful. Especially to a manager. +I've had some bad experiences with that in the past. Phrase this wrong, and some +people will hear "I don't want to do this work ever" instead of "I can't do this +work today". This especially sucks when deadlines roll in and that vital itch +goes away, leaving me at half capacity at the worst possible time. + +This itch leads me to set increasing standards on myself too. It's had some +negative sides in that it makes me feel like I need to make everything better +than the last thing. Each post better than the previous ones. Each project +implementation better than the last. Onwards and onwards into a spiral that sets +the bar so high I stress myself out trying to approach it. + +I haven't kept to my informal goal to have at least one post per week on this +blog because of that absurdly high standard I set for myself. I'm going to try +and change this. I'm going to start participating in [100 days to +offload](https://100daystooffload.com). Expect some shorter and more focused +posts for the immediate future. I am going to be working on the Rust series, +however each part of it will be in isolation from here on out instead of the +longer multifaceted posts. + +This is day 1 of my 100 days to offload. + +Also be sure to check out my post on +[Palisade](https://tech.lightspeedhq.com/palisade-version-bumping-at-scale-in-ci/), +a version bumping tool for GitHub repositories.