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+---
+title: "What To Do As A Recruiter When A Gender-diverse Person Asks You To Update Their Name"
+date: 2022-04-01
+---
+
+[I really wish this was an April Fool's post. I had a few ideas planned, but
+maybe you will get to see them next year.
As a reminder, I am
+speaking for myself and not for my employer.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
+
+This post is directed at all of the recruiters that are reading this blog. This
+is a scenario that many of you may not have dealt with. After having an example
+of this with a recruiter recently I figure it's a teaching moment.
+
+I am speaking up about this because I know many others who have gone through the
+same kinds of problems and have not felt safe to speak up about them. I am not
+speaking for those people in this post, but I want to use my platform as a
+blogger to amplify the sentiment of what I have heard over the years.
+
+## To Recruiters
+
+As a recruiter, if you are cold-emailing someone, please do the research to get
+their name correct. If you do not and someone asks you to correct it, do it.
+
+When gender-diverse people like me get an email that references an out of date
+name, it is seen as a sign that the person sending that email has not done their
+research before sending that email out into the void.
+
+When you correct that name in your system also make sure to cancel all outgoing
+automated emails to that person. The caching layer of the recruiting system may
+have already drafted those emails based on a template. If they go out, this will
+be seen as a _massive sign of disrespect_. It will also make the person
+receiving that email question if you _actually corrected_ the name in that
+system or not. It may make the recipient also question if you are just giving
+them lip service to save face instead of making a genuine effort to ensure that
+the recruiting system has accurate information in it.
+
+This is not a good way to foster the kind of trust needed for a gender-diverse
+person to want to choose your employer as the single point of failure for access
+to medication, food and regular medical checkups. For many gender-diverse
+people, changing jobs can mean an interruption of access to life-saving
+medication.
+
+You may get a slightly angry reply if you send out emails with incorrect
+information. This can happen because gender-diverse people are likely to feel
+like society really doesn't care about them and that they are not being
+respected to have agency over their identity. To some this is a fact and not
+a feeling. And with
+[all](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/mar/10/idaho-bill-trans-youth-treatment-ban-passes-house)
+[of](https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/03/17/texas-trans-child-abuse-investigations/)
+[the](https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/alabama-bill-seeks-ban-hormone-treatments-trans-youth-rcna18512)
+[actions](https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/breaking-2021-becomes-record-year-for-anti-transgender-legislation)
+governments have been taking to directly attack the freedoms and rights to
+self-determination that gender-diverse people like me rely on, you can't blame
+them for being fed up with the situation. It is not fun to feel like your very
+existence is made out to be some black mark of doom on Western civilization. It
+is even less fun to be reminded of that when reading your email inbox. Please
+understand that we mean well, society is just broken in general.
+
+The least you can do is ensure that you do _any amount of research_ to ensure
+that you are using the correct name. It may be a good idea to add the following
+text to your recruiting emails (before you brag about fundraising is probably
+best, I tune out about then):
+
+> If I got your name incorrect, please let me know what name/pronouns you would
+> like me > to update our system to use. I got this name from $SOURCE.
+
+Adding the source of where you got that name from can help make this less
+stressful for gender-diverse people. People's names are spattered everywhere
+across the internet. Letting people know where you got that information from can
+help them know what to fix if a fix is needed.
+
+Some chosen names may seem "weird" due to societal biases that serve to ensure
+that the primary way that people use to refer to eachother in particular are not
+chosen by the people being referred to. Trust that the person on the other end
+is being honest about their identity. The truth requires no belief.
+
+If they ask you to update their pronouns, respect that and ensure you use them
+without failure. Using the wrong pronouns can be seen as an even worse
+disrespect than using the wrong name. You do not want this to happen if your
+goal is to find people to hire.
+
+## To Gender-diverse People
+
+Yeah, this situation sucks. I can't disagree. You really do need to assume good
+faith as much as you can. Most of these recruiter systems rely on ["data
+enrichment" APIs](https://clearbit.com/) and potentially outdated mass scraping
+of LinkedIn and people's blogs.
+
+It can help if you make publicly available posts like
+[this](/blog/xe-2021-08-07) that unambiguously say what you want people to call
+you by. Keep it updated in case journalists decide to compare your chosen name
+to mercenary groups.
+
+Try to be as polite and direct as possible. Here is an example of how I have
+asked recruiters to update their information in the past:
+
+> Please update your files with the name "Xe Iaso" (capital I). I am
+> slowly moving away from "Christine Dodrill" as the name I use to
+> represent myself professionally.
+
+If you are moving away from a "dead name", you may want to use something like
+this:
+
+> I have no record of a "Christine Dodrill" at this email address. You may want
+> to look elsewhere. If you would like to proceed with me instead, here is
+> information about me: https://christine.website.
+
+Throw in your pronouns too to be safe.
+
+[I really need to change this blog's domain, but I have such amazing SEO that I
+really don't want to break it.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
+
+Also consider deleting the email and not replying to them. That's totally valid
+too unless you are in desperate need for a new employer.
+
+You do not need to justify speaking up about an employer having the wrong name
+for you. The truth requires no belief. Speaking the truth to power is the
+essence of valor, which is one of the highest forms of love.