---
title: COVID Burnout
date: 2021-09-25
---

NOTE: This was written out in
[longhand](https://twitter.com/theprincessxena/status/1441842150824718337?s=21)
in my diary. This post was converted to text using iPadOS 15's handwriting to
text recognition. I hope I have cleared up all of the major errors in the
conversion. My handwriting is horrible.

---

I am an introvert. I usually spend a lot of time in my cave. most of my work was
alreary done remotely, when I first found out about the COVID-19 pandemic, I
thought there would be at most 4-8 weeks of hardcore lockdown and then it would
die out. Then life would go back to normal and I would be able to see my friends
at conventions during the summer.

As of the time of writing this post, it is currently the 84th week OF COVID
being a major presence in how I handle daily life. I am exhausted, I was
scheduled to give talks at two conventions that were canceled, meet ups with
friends at places across the us and Canada were postponed into oblivion. My
relationship with my parents has fractured into no-contact. I feel powerless to
do anything more to stop this.

I am the most connected I have ever been and I am the lonliest I have ever been.
Most of the people I talk to are people I have never met in person, even my
coworkers. My manager is someone I talk with near daily yet have never seen
without the aid of video conferencing.

This is exhausting. I hate it. My Netflix queue is empty. I feel so alone.

This post doesn't have a message or moral.
