From a7534a801e23f3bb1cdcbfdce566615155587770 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Xe Iaso Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2022 10:46:46 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] microservices more Signed-off-by: Xe Iaso --- ...-microservices-cluster-2022-01-27.markdown | 61 ++++++++++++++++++- 1 file changed, 60 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/blog/make-microservices-cluster-2022-01-27.markdown b/blog/make-microservices-cluster-2022-01-27.markdown index a22b411..51438fa 100644 --- a/blog/make-microservices-cluster-2022-01-27.markdown +++ b/blog/make-microservices-cluster-2022-01-27.markdown @@ -8,6 +8,65 @@ tags: - cicd - hashtag - swag + - gke + - eks + - anthos + - satire --- -Don't. +[So everyone is talking about microservices these days. I've been wondering what +the best way to make a fully end-to-end continuously deployed multi-cloud +federated global microservices cluster is. Do you have any advice? My product +team needs this done quickly so we can meet an artificial deadline set by +someone that doesn't understand the problems we face at +all.](conversation://Mara/hmm) + +[Don't.](conversation://Cadey/coffee) + +[But based on all the artificial requirements this looks like it's the solution +to all our needs! We can set up Anthos on GKE to combine our EKS clusters with +our legacy onprem Kubernetes cluster so that we can have a fully hyperscaled +coherent user experience across multiple continents!](conversation://Mara/happy) + +[Do you like hurting yourself? You are not Google. You do not need to be +hyperscale. You can probably get away with running this as one big monolith on a +server you rent from a datacenter. Two servers if you want redundancy, but +that's most likely not relevant until you get above several tens of thousands of +daily active users. Single servers can do more than you think. Most of what you +pay for in a server is idle compute. Use it.](conversation://Cadey/coffee) + +[But we need to have the ability to horizontally scale to meet the latency +requirements that marketing made up so that our time to first byte is minimized, +we need to reap that sweet, sweet SEO optimization so that people can connect +and live with eachother while having the highest possible quality experience so +they come back soon.](conversation://Mara/hmm) + +[If keeping customers is really your goal, make your product more addictive than +porn, drugs and TikTok. Either that or make a cult. Those are great ways to +abuse parts of the human baser instincts to make sure that you can maintain +users over longer amounts of time.](conversation://Cadey/coffee) + +[But how do I make the cluster though?](conversation://Mara/hmm) + +[Don't.](conversation://Cadey/coffee) + +[But the SRE team I'm on can take care of the requisite +setup.](conversation://Mara/wat) + +[Lol, no it can't. You will be managing more servers than man has any right to +care about. You will be subjecting yourself to a torture that the Geneva +Convention has not banned yet because the sheer philosophical depths of +depravity have not been fully understood yet. You will become an expert in YAML +and then find out the truth of how much it will take out of your mortal +lifespan. You will be fighting people trying to use HTML templating languages to +create YAML and you will be terrified to find out that this strategy works at +all. You will burn out so hard that you will never want to touch a computer +again.

Do you really want to do this to yourself? Do you really want +to subject yourself to a level of misery that will define the rest of your life? +Do you want to have to explain what the torture nexus of AWS is to therapists? +Do you want to create this reality? Doing this will do all of those things and +more.](conversation://Cadey/coffee) + +MIGROSERBICES + +[[Remainder of content expunged by the order of O5-1]]