todayinmarch2020/quips.json

[
    "Is today gonna be the day that time comes back to us?",
    "The year that's felt like a decade.",
    "How deep are you into your Netflix backlog?",
    "Now without JavaScript!",
    "Green Leader, standing by.",
    "We've strayed into a zone with a high magical index.",
    "Each second that goes by feels like an eternity and nothing.",
    "Never enter an arsekicking contest with a systems developer.",
    "Developers didn't kill ordinary people because a) they seldom noticed them, b) it wasn't considered sporting and c) who'd do all the cooking and growing food and things.",
    "Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Developers know it.",
    "Weather forecast for tomorrow: RIVERS OF BLOOD ALL DAY",
    "A systems programmer will know what to do when society breaks down, because the systems programmer already lives in a world without law.",
    "Coffee is the second reason that justifies the existence of Earth",
    "Shame on those who look at it",
    "Format C",
    "Sleep disorder is commonly treated with time machines",
    "Our sysadmin set fire to a chicken",
    "'We should kill them.' 'Who, our sysadmin?' 'I was thinking all of them but it would be a start'",
    "Of course devops is at fault, there's noone else who could be responsible for anything",
    "Devops 1: 'How is the server?' Devops 2: 'Stable' Sysadmin: '*Dead* is stable'",
    "Developers use their computers for precisely ten things, seven of which involve procuring a vast menagerie of furry art",
    "THE MAGMA PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR OUR MISTAKES",
    "Talk Announcement: Vertex-based Elliptic Cryptography on N-way Bojangle Spaces",
    "Real threat models can be roughly divided into 'Not-Mossad' and 'Mossad'",
    "DOES THIS WORK LOL",
    "If you're confused about what a file is, here is a life tip: DO NOT EXECUTE IT TO DISCOVER MORE CLUES",
    "Proudly rendered in Quirks Mode",
    "<this section is left empty on purpose>"
]