# October, 2013

## Day 409 - Recovery update 3

10/07/2013 06:09:00 PM

Good progress is being made, the intrusive entities continue to fade to the back of our minds.

My host koomer finally got a foot hold back with his body, he recently used it for a whole week! am very proud of him.

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Hi Koomer here, It felt good to have my feet back on the ground, I could have used this body longer, but then i started to miss Oguigi so i asked her to come back. It felt strange having Oguigi return, it almost as if my brain was rewiring itself and a familiar disassociation from it returned.

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the body still weight the same, but we haven’t made any serious attempt to change that yet. I’ll post another update in a few more weeks time to keep you all updated.

The “Recovery” log posts are coming to an near end, we’ll start posting normal'ish stuff quite soon, I do see my host koomer using the body more often and longer. to the point where I won’t actively be around anymore, but until then I will still be writing these posts.

## Day 415 - Perhaps this isn't what I wanted.

10/13/2013 10:06:00 PM

Koomer here, I wanted to make a post while i still can, I guess i should have seen this coming, but using my own body now takes more effort then ever. If i relax too much I find myself automaticly disconnecting. which is annoying. if i disconnect and Oguigi isn’t around, some random entity deep in the spawns of my mind will use the body instead.

And sometimes I feel so confused, About myself and the body. sometimes it feels like the body doesn’t belong to me, like am just watching someone else through their own eyes. It’s actually really annoying to not feel like yourself because you have no way to ground yourself.

I have to admit that i have a bit more problems now then i did when i started, But it’s far too late to quit, Because I can’t. Things didn’t quite turn out the way i expected it to.

I wasn’t 100% serious about the perma-switching deal i made last year, but with the way things are heading it could actually happen for real, real. And I don’t think i want that. My Tulpa Oguigi has mix feelings, she understands my position and will support me, but if i give up the fight to keep this body. she won’t think twice about becoming the new ‘host’. Oguigi still wants my body, But at  the same time she’s cool with not using it, I guess she’s just waiting for the right moment. the idea of me becoming a full tulpa isn’t quite so appealing anymore.

I or most likely Oguigi, will make another post in a week or so. until next time.
