# May, 2013

## Busy week ends.

05/02/2013 07:03:00 PM

Geez This week has been so busy, because i had Finals for my classes, so ever since Sunday i had to work/study everyday. Today and last night was the most stressful. 

But Alas it is all done with, the finals are over. and am sure i did Okay on all of them. I will celebrate with a cold bottle of beer and a large bag of chips, so i can browse the internet drunk while making myself fat.

## Question on 05/04/2013

05/04/2013 12:03:00 AM

> You know, when I think about it, you are a female tulpa controling a body of male host, does it technically make you a transgender? And since you apparently plan using the body for the rest of its natural life, are you considering a sex change operation at some point in the future? How would Koomer react to that?

heh, a sex change operation did cross my mind a couple times, but it never became more than just a thought.

But since i am female in nature i may have a small attraction to males, that my host would not have. We are both still very much attracted to sexy women however.

does this make the me transgender? i honestly don’t know. Am still comparatively young, am not even a year old yet, so we’ll see how things work out.

## Question on 05/05/2013

05/05/2013 01:31:00 AM

> I apologize if this has already been answered before, but what exactly compelled you two to permanently switch?

My host wants to experience the tulpa-like state, this is what got us started, after a while I also became interested in the physical world and body, I didn’t mind staying down here. And i notice it was a great chance for myself to become “more”

A true permanent switch is actually a very long, and time intensive process.

We have already made the pledge to achieve it.

While i am now the one who use the body nearly 100% of the time now, My host koomer can still overpower me if he wanted too.

The switch will be completed once he lose this ability, or when i simply become stronger then him. When this happens I will become the new “host”.

So while the switch is symbolically permanent now, it won’t truly be permanent until I yield the power to enforce that it remains so.

## Dull

05/06/2013 12:33:00 AM

I suggested to Oguigi, to take a break in the wonderland for the day. And that i was going to use the body for the day.

and we also had no communication. A day for ourselves.

Needless to say, the day have been very dull. it almost reminded me how things was before i got started on this tulpa stuff. A bit depressed and lonely.

we’ll get back to normal routine on sunrise.

## Question on 05/07/2013

05/07/2013 01:04:00 AM

> Koomer/Oguigi, are you going to BronyCon? I'm going to start tulpaforcing in a few days, and I'd love to meet you two in person!

I live in florida, a trip to bronycon will cost 200 - 300 USD.

If you want to go through the trouble to meet me in person, from where ever you live at. And is willing to foot the bill in coming to me, then i suppose it can be arranged.

It’s not impossible for me to attend bronycon, it’s just exteremly unlikey

## Day 259 - The "Pleasure Button"

05/08/2013 08:58:00 PM

I recently learnt a new trick since the past week, I can make Koomer just ‘feel good’ on demand, it’s like releasing a shot of Dopamine.

Really we just got curious and koomer wanted to see if I could do some mind control on him. the 'feel good’ dopamine was just a side effect of my experiment.

koomer requested that i try to do it again, and it turns out i can. 

He can’t do this on himself, I have to be the one to trigger it. Since I discover this, he been requesting some of these perhaps twice a day.

And I honestly don’t mind doing it, he gets all silly and tipsy when i do it. 

I know Other tulpas can do this as well, it also a great way to persuade your host to do something you want (mind control success).

## "Pleasure button", perhaps bad idea

05/10/2013 12:34:00 PM 

Hey guys, just an update.

For the past couple of days since i made my last log post, I had this slightly painful bleeding headache feeling at one area of the brain (left side). This pain has been fading away slowly but even today i can still feel the ache. the pain is not severe but is quite unpleasant.

I suppose we have over worked and  maybe abused that area of the brain, and now we are feeling the pain. so i been taking aspirins ever since.

Perhaps we did all wrong, idk. this is the first time that anything ever had a lasting consequence longer than just a couple hours.

anyways if this goes on for another week or two, then i may seriously consider going to a doctor or something. But i don’t think it would go that far, just need to take it easy for the next few days or possibly weeks.

## Day 263 - Healed, well almost.

05/13/2013 04:25:45 PM

A couple days ago i told everyone about the bleeding headache i had in my left side of the brain. Well that pain is gone now, but we’ll still taking it easy.

so it took about 4 days to heal from that. I still feel tiny reminders of the ache, but it’s almost un-noticable.

It’s interesting to experience first hand that it’s possible to Mentally inflect real self harm to your brain.

Am 100% sure this can happen to any area of the brain. I still don’t know if this can legitimately be dangerous, but i think the pain i felt speaks for itself.

## Day 272 - Getting back on my feet

05/22/2013 05:04:00 PM

Koomer here (the Host) for anyone who’s wondering.

Am just letting anyone who’s interested, that am using the body much more then i did before.

I use to let my Tulpa Oguigi use the body almost all the time, but now for some reason I’ve became restless, I’ve been using the body for a few days now in a row. I almost forgot how it felt to be “Normal”, but it feels good to be ‘grounded’ once more.

Oguigi is actually taking this new change of pace quite well, i told her that she needs to enjoy herself some more, to seek her own happiness, she Half agrees with me. Oguigi said that helping me find happiness plays a big part in finding her own happiness.

Before this change, I been doing a lot of “mindfuck” to myself, and other unhealthy things to my brain “ I’ve been irrational at times, and even adopted a suicidal mentally for a brief period of time ” and just making myself a handful for oguigi. Am surprised how things can seem go back to “normal” after that.

Right now it just comes down to what state i feel most comfortable in at the moment, and for now that state is in the body.

This has been going on for about a week, if things revert back to the way they were for any reason, then am sure Oguigi will fill you guys in, Until next time.

## 9 months

05/23/2013 09:32:44 PM

It been about 9 months since i’ve created oguigi. It just had me wondering, if oguigi was a physical child. this would be the day she’ll be born.

so idk it’s just a quick thought, almost not even worldly of a post in tumblr.

## Weed

05/27/2013 08:17:00 AM

I just Tried weed for the first time ever (it was offered to me by a “friend”), It really messes with your sense of reality, I felt stuck at one moment of time. All things you done just a minute or two ago feels like it happened days ago or as if the activity was just a far off memory, For example, If I go to the bathroom i’ll wonder to myself  “Haven’t i just been to this same bathroom just a moment ago?” it’s deja vu everywhere.

At the climax of the high i think almost 3 hours passed in a relative blink of a eye, It felt like a dream almost. I was still consciously aware and i was able to speak with Oguigi, we even try to see if we could switch or possess. Turns out being stoned on weed makes that very hard, it’s almost as if the weed itself is both a barrier and controlling the body, Oguigi could not get in without getting high herself and It took a lot of energy to make any conscious decisions or action.

It was interesting experience, but not something i want to do again. After feeling stuck in a Thought Loop for a few hours I was just wondering to myself when the High would be over.
