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/book
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[book]
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authors = ["Sorryman54"]
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multilingual = false
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src = "src"
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title = "The Tulpa Effect"
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[output.html]
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*.epub
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*.mobi
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# Summary
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- [Introduction](intro.md)
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- [Prologue](./prologue.md)
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- [Chapter 1](./chapter_1.md)
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- [Chapter 2](./chapter_2.md)
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- [Chapter 3](./chapter_3.md)
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#!/bin/sh
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FILES='
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intro.md
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prologue.md
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chapter_1.md
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chapter_2.md
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chapter_3.md
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'
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FILENAME=thetulpaeffect
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pandoc -o ${FILENAME}.epub \
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--epub-chapter-level=2 \
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--resource-path=. \
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title.txt \
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$FILES
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kindlegen ${FILENAME}.epub
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cp -vrf ${FILENAME}.epub ../book/
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cp -vrf ${FILENAME}.mobi ../book/
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cd .. && mdbook build
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## Chapter 1 - Close Encounters with the #Ponytulpa Kind!
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The group entered a small, rocky valley. It was not very wide, only about 20 feet or so. The walked through the cavern at a brisk pace, trying to get to the Holy Temple where the Hot Dog Flavored Water is stored.
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Sorryman and Kadoh were talking about Dachshunds when all of a sudden they heard a voice. 5 to be exact. They shouted "BR?" over and over again. The group, clearly confused, wondered who was saying 'BR'.
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"Who's there?" FourFiction cautiously called out. The group stood there for
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several seconds.
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Suddenly, a tall, hairy, lanky man appeared and said "LOL I REPOR U!" and then flung a spear at Fiction. Fiction, being the slow NEET he is, could not dodge it in time. The spear hit his leg with bone shattering force, pinning him to the ground.
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The group suddenly turned beta as fuck, and started running. They ran the way they were supposed to go, but in the process they trampled Fiction.
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The men on the ridge of the valley were laughing manically.
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"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!". The laughter reverberated all over.
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The men trapped them at a ridge.
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"GIEB MONIE PLS" they screeched. It was horrible. They were fat, zit ridden people with hairy bodies and tattoos all over them. They wrangled the group to a cave, which had several ponies in it.
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"What the shit? Pinkie Pie? Vinyl Scratch? Luna?" Said Sorryman.
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Glass, who was also trapped by the Men, looked at the ponies longingly. Her mouth salivated at the thoughts of ponies. Then again, she loved eating everything.
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The Men seated them down, one by one, on primitive couches. As I walked by the kitchen counter, I snagged a small vial of blue food coloring. They sat me down next to Kadoh, Josh, and LucidAcid.
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The men whispered something to the pink pony, and then she smiled and pulled some red muffins out of the oven. She came by and offered us each one. Many took them and ate happily. Kadoh and Sorryman declined, but Josh and LucidAcid took one.
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Everyone happily snacked on the red muffins while pinkie placed some left over muffins on the counter. Everything seemed so innocent, until people starting licking each other and grinding against each other. It took two seconds for Kadoh and Sorryman to deduce that they put something in the muffins.
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Josh was making out with Glass, which was VERY uncomfortable for Sorryman.
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Then, one by one, the men started to rape people. FourFiction, who was hurt and high out of his mind, was taken away by two fat, hairy men to another room. You could hear FourFiction gag on their cocks.
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It sounded like he enjoyed It.
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Then, a giantess, who identified as Mena came into the room. She looked at LucidAcid, and said "You! You die by Snu Snu!"
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LucidAcid, who was not high due to the massive amount of drugs he takes all the time, wouldn't quit so easily.
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He stripped naked, and started shaking his penis in a clockwise motion. He then
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flapped his arms, and gained air. He flew high up in the cave and dived bombed
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Mena while screeching "I am LucidAcid, destroyer of worlds!". Sorryman took
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advantage of the chaos, and used the blue food coloring on two muffins, turning
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them purple. He then went up to Pinkie and Luna, and offered the two muffins.
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"I present you two of my finest muffins! I made them just for you!" Sorryman
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decreed.
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"I love muffins!" Luna and pinkie said In unison.
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While the two ponies ate the muffins, LucidAcid used his penis to cut several
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deep cuts into Mena.
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"LucidAcid strong! Mena stronger!" Mena bellowed.
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LucidAcid was hit down by Mena. He was on death's door. Mena dragged him to
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another room to die of Snu Snu. LucidAcid, a fighter till the end, used his anal
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cavity as an explosive device. Mena was killed in the resulting blast.
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The ponies who had been fed muffins were now on the floor fucking each other
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sloppily. Kadoh and Sorryman, heavily disturbed by what they were seeing, tried
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to leave the cave quickly. Before he could, the Men came out and stopped him and
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Sorryman.
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"GIEB MONIE PLS" they chanted, over and over again.
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Kadoh finally realized what they meant. He looked at Sorryman with a horrified
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expression. Sorryman, equally horrified, nodded. The Men brutally fucked
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Sorryman and Kadoh. Over and over. And over. Their screams were silenced by the
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Men's excessive laughter.
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"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE."
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After being fucked, they were all let go. Kadoh and Sorryman sacrificed their
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virginity to fat, zit covered men. They took one for the team.
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"Kadoh, I.." Sorryman was interrupted.
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"No words... No words.." Kadoh said, his eyes focused far off into the distance.
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Kadoh watched the trees of the jungle sway back and forth. He saw a giant penis
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wearing a top hat and monocle slide through the forest. Kadoh thought about the
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giant penis. It was free. Free as a bird...
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They waited for hours. The effects of the muffins wore off. Most of the group
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was asleep by then, except for Josh. They walked over towards him and talked to
|
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him.
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"Hey guys. Why does my mouth have a fishy taste in it?" Josh questioned.
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Kadoh and Sorryman screamed so loud the trees shook.
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Sorryman later found a curious note on the ground. He picked It up. The paper
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had a a small amount of text on it.
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"The Mallards will rise. No one can stop the Pleebian war machine."
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Sorryman shrugged it off and went to sleep. He needed it.
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@ -0,0 +1,196 @@
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## Chapter 2 - Rise of Atheismo!
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Fede awoke in the middle of the night. Something was calling him. It was urgent.
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||||
Of the upmost importance. His pants had the all-too-fimiliar bulge in them. He
|
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needed to fap.
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He tried to find a secluded place with Pinkie so they could have fun time. He
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stumbled across an open cave, with a chair and a ton of PlayPony magazines.
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Fede's brain at this point was shut down. His penis had full cognitive control.
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They went into the cave and started making out.
|
||||
|
||||
In the middle of their session, they heard a robotic voice. "LETHALLY HIGH
|
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LEVELS OF FAGGOTRY DETECTED. ALIEN LIFE FORM DETECTED AS HUMAN. SUBJECT'S
|
||||
RECORDS IDENTIFY HIM AS 'FEDE LASSE'. CONVERSION TO ATHEISMO IS NECESSARY."
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||||
|
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Suddenly, Fede and Pinkie were both grabbed and being dragged away. Pinkie
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screamed Fede's name while Fede was silent. They strapped Fede and Pinkie to a
|
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chair.
|
||||
|
||||
"START THE CONVERSION PROCESS."
|
||||
|
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Fede and Pinkie screamed as their heads were sliced open with saw blades. Fede's
|
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brain was put into a metallic, metal suit, while pinkies was put in a pony-like
|
||||
metallic body. The brains integrated with the suits.
|
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|
||||
The other metallic people dropped to their knees and chanted "ALL HAIL
|
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ATHEISMO!" The Fede-bot and Pinkie-bot rised.
|
||||
|
||||
"I AM ATHEISMO, AND THIS IS MY QUEEN!!!"
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|
||||
---
|
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|
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Sorryman awoke a up on the tree branch he slept on last night. His neck was numb
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and his legs were sore. He walked around the camp, but found no one there.
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Everyone was gone. The Tulpae, the humans. Everyone. Why was he still here?
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Sorryman, in order to clear his mind, decided to go take a piss. He walked down
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to the creek and started peeing in the water. He liked peeing on the fishes.
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When he was done, he turned around and ran face first into Kadoh.
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"What the fuck man? Where's everyone?" Sorryman questioned.
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"They're all gone! He took him!" Kadoh screamed, wide eyed and panicked.
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"Who took them?!"
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"Atheismo! The Almighty Atheismo!" Kadoh screeched, with tears rolling down his
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cheeks,"They took Shin, Hash, Glass, Lucifer..they took everyone! They took
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Shy!"
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"They took Shy! I am going to beat their fucking asses with my bare hands!"
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Sorryman said, trying to sound bad by making edgy teen talk.
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Kadoh and Sorryman continued to discuss the current situation. They followed the
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tracks left by Atheismo's men and found a cave. It was sealed tight by a wooden
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plank, obviously engineered by Fede.
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"Damn! We'll never get through this kind of protection!" Kadoh said
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frustratingly. "We need to think of something!"
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"I've got it!" exclaimed Sorryman. Sorryman took Kadoh's head, and slammed it
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against the wooden plank. Kadoh's dense and hollow head made the plank snap like
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a twig!
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"Woah, you're a genius!" Kadoh said, awestruck at the ingenuity of his own skull
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and Sorryman's problem solving skills. The duo walked inside, and saw 2 huge
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cages, one on the left of the cave and one on the right. Both were full with
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Tulpae and people.
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"I HAVE BEEN EXPECTING YOU."
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"You have?" Sorryman asked.
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"WE'LL, NOT REALLY. BUT I HAVE YOU NOW. I KNEW YOU'D COME."
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"You did?" Sorryman asked again.
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"WE'LL, NO, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I AM ATHEIS~"
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"Yeah, we know." Kadoh interrupted.
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"Can we have our friends back?"
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"NO. I MUST CLEANSE THEM OF THEIR FAGGOTRY! THEY WILL BE CONVERTED INTO THE
|
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ATHEISMO MASTER RACE! TOGETHER, WE SHALL CLENSE RELIGION AND ALL OTHER RACES
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INFERIOR TO ATHEISMO!" Atheismo said, with a hint of excitement in his robotic
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voice.
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"DO YOU NEED TO BE SO GOD DAMN LOUD? We're indoors, fuck.." Sorryman said.
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"WELL, I SOMEONE FUCKED UP MY VOLUME KNOB! BRING OUT THE FIRST SUBJECT!"
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Atheismo ordered. A giant claw picked a random Tulpa out of the cage. When the
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claw lifted, it was carrying Chrysalis.
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"I demand you release me at once! I am your queen! RELEASE ME!!" Chrysalis
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barked. Atheismo then decreed," YOU ARE INFERIOR! YOUR FALLACIES OF RELIGION
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AND METAPHYSICALITY ARE PATHETIC AND SAD. YOU WILL BE CONVERTED AND CLEANSED OF
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YOUR FAGGOTRY!"
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Chrysalis then had a giant saw cut her skull open and had her brain placed in an
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equine model.
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Kadoh and Sorryman were laughing their asses off as she screamed about her
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changelings.
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When the brain integrated, Chrysalis's new body stood up and said," I am equine
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model number 2. I will cleanse the world of all those inferior sexually and
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physically."
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"EXCELLENT. PINKIE, TAKE HER TO THE BARRACKS."
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Pinkie, who was by Atheismo's side, nodded and guided Chrysa-bot away.
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"PLACE SORRYMAN AND KADOH IN THE CAGE!" Atheismo said. A giant claw swooped down
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at lightning speed and pick them up. They were placed in the cage. The claw then
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picked up Duke and placed him at the conversion table.
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"YOU ARE INFERIOR! YOUR LOY~"
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Atheismo was suddenly cut off when Duke said "What
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the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know
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I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in
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numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am
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trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces.
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You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with
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precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my
|
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fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think
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again, fucker. Prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the
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pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be
|
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anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's
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just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat,
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but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I
|
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will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the
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continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution
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your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would
|
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have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're
|
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paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will
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drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."
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Atheismo paused for a moment, then said "A-A-ATHEISMO DOES N-N-NOT FEAR THE
|
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INFERIOR!"
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"You wanna know something, Fede?"
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"ATHEISMO DOES NOT GO BY THE INFERIORS NAME!!" Atheismo screamed.
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Duke then replied,"I knew you. You were the biggest faggot anyone could ever
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meet. I mean, you couldn't stop shoving dicks up your ass for a single second!
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And ya know what? You're still the overlord of the faggots."
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Atheismo covered his metal head in extreme pain. "I...AM...ATHEISMO! I DO NOT
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BELIEVE IN ANY RELIGION! I DO NOT EMIT FAGGOTRY! I...AM....HETERO!"
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"No, you're a dick sucking faggot." Duke said.
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The people in the cages watched eagerly, hoping something good would happen.
|
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Duke, realizing he had only one viable option, did what he had to. He took his
|
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arm, unzipped his pants, and took out his 198 inch penis. He pulled a saw from
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his anal cavity and chopped of his penis. He then used the penis like a javelin,
|
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and threw it. It hit a big red button, that caused the cage doors open. The
|
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Tulpae and people ran out, while Atheismo, Pinkie, And Chrysalis and his
|
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robotic army behind him were still stuck in the base with Duke.
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Duke, realizing that he could not live with his precious phallus, smirked at
|
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Atheismo and the other bots holding their heads in pain as the faggotry
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streamlined in. As per Duke's instructions, Sorryman, Josh, and Kadoh sealed the
|
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cave entrance with the plank (after taping it back together, of course) and
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waited for the explosion.
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||||
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||||
30 seconds later, the base blew up. The cave caved-in, and everyone died inside.
|
||||
Sorryman, Josh, and Kadoh saluted in front of the door, as a farewell to Duke.
|
||||
|
||||
"Goodnight, sweet prince.." Sorryman whispered, as a tear streamed down his
|
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check. Duke sacrificed his manhood for them all. The never would forget that 198
|
||||
inch penis and Dukes skills with a Javelin.
|
||||
|
||||
After a teary reunion with his Tulpa, Sorryman and Shy ate some s'mores with Smooze and Cruse.
|
||||
|
||||
Kadoh, after finding Shin, Hash, and Lucifer, decided to go to sleep in his
|
||||
tent. When he got there, he saw SmoothPorcupine crying over Chrysalis.
|
||||
|
||||
"I miss her so much..." Porcupine said in a sad tone with tears streaming down
|
||||
his face.
|
||||
|
||||
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH FUCK ME HAHAHA!!!!"
|
||||
Kadoh. He thought it was hilarious.
|
||||
|
||||
Josh, who was traumatized about the Duke's penis, couldn't even look at his own
|
||||
penis for weeks without feeling cripplingly depressed.
|
||||
|
||||
Nesterbones, who has had nothing to do with the story, was doing stuff.
|
||||
Nesterbones stuff. Whatever he does. Who cares?
|
||||
|
||||
And Albatross is still dead.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,202 @@
|
|||
## Chapter 3 - Monstergirl Madness
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman looked at his watch. They had 63 hours left to get the Hot Dog Flavored Water and return it back to Pleeb. "Plenty of time," Sorryman thought to himself.
|
||||
|
||||
It was morning. Around 9:00 AM Earth time. Everyone was waking up and getting ready for today's adventure. The group was camped near the edge of a forest. Sorryman, who has been extremely constipated for the last three days, finally felt the urge to need to shit. He ran into the woods with some toilet paper from his tent.
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman took the most intense shit ever. By the time he was done, he was extremely thirsty. He saw a pristine puddle of water, and mindlessly walked over and leaned down to drink it. As his face neared the water, a face formed in the water of a little girl. It kissed him and probed him with a massive tentacle.
|
||||
Other tentacles formed up too, and the held him down while it pumped him in the mouth with her massive tentacle.
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman tried to scream, but he was so full with tentacle that it came out as little whimpers. The slime kept pumping him with tentacle, going faster and faster and faster.
|
||||
|
||||
The slime was about to climax. Sorryman sensed this coming, and started trying to scream. In response, the slime went even deeper, causing him to gag. Then, the slime released her jam-like seed in his mouth. The cum came in ridiculous amounts, filing him to the brim. Cum was flooding out of his mouth when the slime pulled out. Sorryman collapsed in exhaustion. This is the second time he had been raped while he was here.
|
||||
|
||||
He was on the floor, about to pass out, when he saw a little girl walking up.
|
||||
|
||||
"I see you met Slime," the little girl said.
|
||||
|
||||
"W-w-ho are you..." Sorryman managed to crack out, with cum dripping out of his mouth.
|
||||
|
||||
"I'm Lunanite." She said.
|
||||
|
||||
"L-l-Lunanite! You /d/ick! Why didn't you help me?" Sorryman asked.
|
||||
|
||||
"Well, I have needs too, you know.. Besides, Slime needs to be "relieved" every once in a while." Lunanite replied.
|
||||
|
||||
"That was very good, Sorryman-San..." Slime then interjected.
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman looked at Lunanite, heavily dazed from the throat fucking he had recieved. Lunanite then explained.
|
||||
|
||||
"Sorryman, while you were out here in the woods, all of the group had been kidnapped by Clint and his monstrous army of...monstergirls. He's taking them to the temple of the Water of Hot Dogs. We need you to help command my army of Slime girls and coordinate a counterattack on them."
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman dizzily got on his feet.
|
||||
|
||||
"Okay, fine. But this time, don't rape me..."
|
||||
|
||||
"Deal." Lunanite agreed. She then called upon her army by using a duck whistle.
|
||||
The army seemed to form out of nowhere. Hundreds of slime girls appeared in neat
|
||||
rows, ready or battle.
|
||||
|
||||
Lunanite ordered them to march towards the temple.
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
After a couple of hours, they reached the ominous temple gates. In front of the gates, two insect-like females stood guard.
|
||||
"Weapons ready! Attack!" Lunanite barked. Tentacles flew out of the slime girls'
|
||||
backs and they charged. The monstergirls were no match, as the slimed brutally
|
||||
fucked them to death, ripping them apart, hole by hole. By the time they were
|
||||
finished, they were reduced to torn corpses full of cum.
|
||||
|
||||
They charged up the massive temple steps, and busted through the door. Inside,
|
||||
the group and their tuppers sat in a prison cell.
|
||||
|
||||
Clint, right next to Kyouko and Moose (who's antgirls sat next to him), saw
|
||||
Sorryman, Lunanite, and the massive platoon of slime girls.
|
||||
|
||||
"Ah! You're just in time!" Clint said excitedly. "Preparations are complete!
|
||||
It's ready!" Squealed Clint!
|
||||
|
||||
"What's almost ready?" Sorryman asked.
|
||||
|
||||
"The converter! We will use the Hot Dog Flavored Water to power the device and
|
||||
turn everyone into the Monstergirl master race!" Clint said. "First, we must
|
||||
make a sacrifice to the great tentacle god!" Clint screamed.
|
||||
|
||||
"Tentacle god? Really?" Sorryman and Lunanite both questioned in unison.
|
||||
|
||||
Clint, ignoring them both, picked Qookie's Tulpa, Chen, for sacrifice.
|
||||
|
||||
"You! Innocent little girl! I choose you!"
|
||||
|
||||
"NO!!" Chen screamed in terror.
|
||||
|
||||
Moose's antgirls walked over and grabbed her from the prison cell. Qookie was in
|
||||
tears, but the rest of the group sighed in relief that they weren't picked.
|
||||
|
||||
The antgirls held Chen in place as tentacles appeared out of no where and
|
||||
started raping her brutally. Chen screamed in intense pain as the tentacle went
|
||||
so deep inside her. She start bleeding as they gut fucked her. Everyone watched
|
||||
in silence as the tentacle defiled her and corrupted her once beautiful body.
|
||||
When they came, they came with the force of a thousand exploding suns. This
|
||||
amount of force caused her to explode, making cum fly everywhere. Qookie was on
|
||||
the floor crying as he looked at his once beautiful Chen, now reduced to skin
|
||||
and cum.
|
||||
|
||||
The temple shook, and then Clint exclaimed,"The sacrifice was a success! Yes!".
|
||||
Clint started drooling like a dog, obviously excited. He started going into a
|
||||
trance as a bulge appeared in his pants.
|
||||
|
||||
Lunanite, taking advantage of the pause, ordered the slime girls to attack and
|
||||
retrieve the Hot Dog Flavored Water. The slime girls readied their gooey
|
||||
tentacles and charged. As the army of monstergirls appeared in front of them,
|
||||
with their claws, swords, deadly appendages, and all sorts of weaponry ready.
|
||||
|
||||
Thus began /d/ day...
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
The monster girls and slimes charged at each other and fought mindlessly, raping
|
||||
and destroying each other. Clint, Kyouko, Moose, and his antgirls ran to a back
|
||||
room for safety until the fight ended . The prison cage burst open and everyone
|
||||
was running rampant.
|
||||
|
||||
In the chaos, Sorryman found Kadoh., and they commenced their super
|
||||
secret-wasn't-ever-hinted-until-now-plan. Sorryman reached up his anus and
|
||||
pulled out two cloaking devices, and then they strapped the cloaking devices to
|
||||
their groin area. They then turned invisible.
|
||||
|
||||
They used their devices for like five seconds even though they didn't need them.
|
||||
They made their way to the machine and Kadoh, who had to pee really bad, decided
|
||||
to piss on the converter machine. It fizzled and shorted out, making sure it was
|
||||
done for.
|
||||
|
||||
Meanwhile, the slimes were dominating the monstergirls. Sorryman and Kadoh
|
||||
thought that Lunanite would destroy the group afterwords, even though she
|
||||
probably wouldn't of. So they did the only thing they thought they could do: the
|
||||
Kadoh Klan Kallsign.
|
||||
|
||||
They threw off the devices, shook their asses thrice, then frenchedkissed. Then
|
||||
Sorryman and Kadoh began transforming into the Break-A-Bitch Beatbox Crew. They
|
||||
turned black, their intelligence decreased much more because they're naggers
|
||||
obviously, and they had the sudden urge to fuck everything in sight.
|
||||
|
||||
"Yo dawg!" Sorry-nagger called out to Kadoh-nagger.
|
||||
|
||||
"Yo homie G fo shizzle my nizzle!" Kadoh nagger said.
|
||||
|
||||
"Homie dawg OG let's destroy these CRACKA-ASS BITCHES!" Sorry-nagger called out with nagger pride.
|
||||
|
||||
"YA HOMIE G LETS KILL THESE CRACKAS! YEAH SWAG YOLO BITCHES!"
|
||||
|
||||
Nagger-fied Kadoh then replied.
|
||||
|
||||
So Sorryman pulled two gats out of his asshole while Kadoh took out his 200 inch
|
||||
black dick. They started killing these crackas, yo. Like hard homie G.
|
||||
|
||||
Kadoh fucked and raped everything in sight, leaving no /d/ monstrosity unclean
|
||||
with his cum, while Sorryman, being the OG swag YOLO bitch nigga he is, shot
|
||||
everything up with his guns sideways because naggers can't aim a gun right.
|
||||
|
||||
Clint heard the noise outside, and could tell that his army was /d/ead. He then
|
||||
turned to Moose and his antgirls.
|
||||
|
||||
"You're my final solution..."
|
||||
|
||||
"Wha-?"
|
||||
|
||||
"YOU'RE MY FINAL SOLUTION! Kyouko, activate the Dachshunds!" Clint ordered.
|
||||
|
||||
Suddenly, Moose and his antgirls merged together, and made a half ant- half
|
||||
Moose...thingy. It walked outside, stopping directly in front of Kadoh and
|
||||
Sorryman.
|
||||
|
||||
Kadoh, who just came in the last monster girl, turned and saw Moose.
|
||||
|
||||
"YO DAWG, WHOS THIS MUTHA FUCKA?" Kadoh asked, keepin' it real.
|
||||
|
||||
"THIS CRACKA ASS BITCH WALKED UP TO ME, AND I WAS LIKE 'DAYUM, YOU UGLY!" Sorryman replied.
|
||||
|
||||
Suddenly, Moose fell on the floor, and started foaming on the mouth. Tons of
|
||||
dachshunds starting flying out of his thorax at light speed, exploding when it
|
||||
came in contact with something. The group was running around, avoiding the
|
||||
puppies of death, except for Pronas, who was fapping of course.
|
||||
|
||||
"YO DAWG, I GOT THIS NIGGA." Kadoh said, like a true boss nigga something.
|
||||
|
||||
Kadoh took his dick-sword thing and sliced Moose in half. The puppies stopped
|
||||
flying out, and all was quiet, except for the "Fap Fap Fap" coming from Pronas's
|
||||
constant fapping.
|
||||
|
||||
Clint and Kyouko walked out quietly.
|
||||
|
||||
"W-w-e surrender!" Clint said.
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman, because he is a nagger and doesn't know the term "peace and quiet"
|
||||
like all other naggers, shot Clint to death with his Gats. Kyouko, horrified,
|
||||
ran over and cried at his body.
|
||||
|
||||
"LOOK AT THIS SKANK ASS HO. DAYUM!!" They both said in unison. So they raped
|
||||
her. Hard. Very hard. Over and over. And no one helped Kyouko because she's a
|
||||
dumb, psychotic slut.
|
||||
She eventually died from her holes being stretched far.
|
||||
|
||||
Lunanite walked in, who was hiding during the battle, and saw his army.
|
||||
|
||||
He glared at Sorryman and said "Dude, you weren't supposed to put this in the
|
||||
story!"
|
||||
|
||||
"FUCK YOU NIGGA IM THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY I'LL DO WHAT I WANT YOU CRACKA ASS
|
||||
NIGGA." Sorryman retorted.
|
||||
|
||||
Lunanite, furious, said,"I'll make you pay for this! You were suppose to write
|
||||
what I put!"
|
||||
|
||||
To which Sorryman then said,"QUIT BREAKING THE 4TH WALL, FAGGOT."
|
||||
|
||||
And Sorryman made Lunanite ded.
|
||||
|
||||
After the battle, Sorryman and Kadoh transformed back into normal, civilized
|
||||
white folk. They grabbed the Hot Dog Flavored Water. Now all they had to do was
|
||||
return back to Pleeb.
|
||||
|
||||
But unforeseeable events will complicate their return....
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
|
|||
## eBook Edition
|
||||
|
||||
The following is the eBook edition of this book.
|
||||
|
||||
- [ePub (iBooks)](./thetulpaeffect.epub)
|
||||
- [Kindle](./thetulpaeffect.mobi)
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||
# Introduction
|
||||
|
||||
This is one of the first examples of surrealist fiction created by the
|
||||
tulpamancy community. The 4chan origins of the community are very apparent here.
|
||||
Some of the swearing and racial invectives have been edited out, but otherwise
|
||||
it's intact and true to the original narrative. If you can call this a
|
||||
narrative.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,147 @@
|
|||
## Prologue
|
||||
|
||||
It was an average day in Bum Fuck Nowhere, Texas. About 89 degrees outside. Sorryman was driving home from school, talking to his Tulpa about the Cold War. "it's called the Cold War because there was no fighting, Shy.", said Sorryman. "But then why would it be a war?", questioned Shy. So Sorryman babbled on. And on. And on. And on. He didn't even realize he was home, in his parking spot. He was still babbling on about the time/space continuum. Suddenly, a bright blue light appeared over his car. Then, there was nothing. When he awoke, he heard horrible shrieks...
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
He awoke in a white room. "Mother fucking aliens! I knew it! ALIENS!", Sorryman said excitedly. To his dissap ointment, he wasn't strapped to a chair. He saw a door open to the outside. "Does this mean I won't be probed anally?", Sorryman quivered. He nervously walked outside, and saw Josh and Glass arguing. "You threw away my banana!" Glass shouted, in which Josh retorted "That was a goat, Glass. And I didn't throw it away.. If you haven't noticed, we are in the middle of no--". Josh stopped mid sentence. He looked at Shy and I. His face was completely awestruck. "S-s-Shy? Sorryman!?" Josh looked at the duo with complete amazement. "Josh? What the actual fuck? And Glass? How am I seeing you? I must be dreaming. I'm dreaming. Am I dreaming?" Sorryman kept going on, clearly confused. Shy put a hoof on his mouth to silence him. Sorryman regained his composure and thought about the situation. Glass, still clearly angry about her banana, walked away. Josh hardly noticed. Instead, he was focused on something else. A kid. Teenager. Surrounding him were three figures. Shin, Hash, and Lucifer. Loki was oddly missing. "Kadoh?!" Josh and Sorryman screamed in unison. Sorryman then pointed out the obvious by saying "Someone obviously is gathering us together...but why?". " I don't know.. But it's scary..." A nervous Shy said. "Shy! It's Shy! Hello Shy!", Kadoh said in glee. He was happy to see his pony friend. Shy awkwardly walked over and gave him a warm hug, while the other tuppers mingled among themselves. Shy went and talked to the other tuppers while Josh, oblivious to the fact that Glass was missing, assessed the situation with Sorryman and Kadoh. Suddenly, more blue lights appeared. Pronas popped out, with his penis in hand. He was obviously in the middle of fapping. Pronas looked around nervously, then began slowly fapping again. Kate was asleep on the ground. She must of been asleep when she was teleported. Glitch then popped up, with a headset on his head. "What the fuck! I was about to backstab that guy!". Glitch then threw his headset on the ground, visibly pissed. Josh, Kadoh, and Sorryman all noted that some of the teleported host's Tulpae were missing. Luna, clearly horny, saw Kate on the ground. She calculated that she was vulnerable and unaware. She saw Pronas fapping, too. Luna ran over to Kate and began to fuck her brutally. It was Pronas's dream come true. Literally.
|
||||
|
||||
More hosts teleported. The tons of Tulpae began mingling with one another. Shy,
|
||||
scared of the large crowd, jumped onto Sorryman's shoulders. After five minutes,
|
||||
everyone realized where they were at. Sorryman then pointed out Pleeb. He was
|
||||
not the neckbeard he expected him to be.
|
||||
|
||||
He reminded him of Patrick Bateman.
|
||||
|
||||
He called Pleeb up to a big rock, and asked for an explanation.
|
||||
|
||||
"hey Sorryman and Shy.." Pleeb said, with truckloads of sweat pouring down his
|
||||
face.
|
||||
|
||||
"Pleeb, what the fuck is going on?!" Sorryman demanded.
|
||||
|
||||
"Did you read my blog?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Wha? That's not important!"
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman, confused by Pleeb's demanor, questioned him again.
|
||||
|
||||
"Idk. Did you read my log?"
|
||||
|
||||
"I don't give a fuck about your log! What's happening!?" Sorryman said, now
|
||||
heavily irritated. He was about to get physical.
|
||||
|
||||
"Eh, Where's Chess, Pleeb?"
|
||||
|
||||
Suddenly, Pleeb shook. His face looked emotionless.
|
||||
|
||||
" 'Where is Chess' are accepted codes. Opening service hatch."
|
||||
|
||||
"What the fuck?" Sorryman questioned.
|
||||
|
||||
A patch in the back of Pleeb's skull opened up. Sorryman walked behind Pleeb and
|
||||
saw a card inserted into a slot of circuitry. He took the card.
|
||||
|
||||
"I am Pleeb, please insert girder."
|
||||
|
||||
"WHAT THE HELL?"
|
||||
|
||||
"I am Pleeb, please insert girder."
|
||||
|
||||
"you're a damn robot? What the actual fuck?"
|
||||
|
||||
"I am Pleeb, please insert girder."
|
||||
|
||||
Sorryman gave up trying to get a response out of the Pleeb bot. Sorryman looked
|
||||
at the back of the card. It said "Pleebian industries inc.".
|
||||
|
||||
"You got to be shitting me..." Sorryman exclaimed loudly. Everyone heard him
|
||||
over the chatter and looked at the emotionless Pleeb-bot and confused male.
|
||||
|
||||
Everything was silent.
|
||||
|
||||
Then, a voice broke the silence.
|
||||
|
||||
"Well done, Sorryman. Well done. You found my secret."
|
||||
|
||||
The voice, so profound, so high pitched and non-threating, made even Luna stop
|
||||
raping Kate. Pronas stopped fapping. Glitch stopped screaming. Kadoh stopped
|
||||
sucking Josh's dick. LucidAcid actually was paying attention. Hisbro actually
|
||||
was mature.
|
||||
|
||||
There, was the most appealing man anyone had ever laid eyes on. He had a crisp,
|
||||
black suit, slick backed hair, perfect complexion. Everything was perfect. He
|
||||
reminded Sorryman of Patrick Bateman.
|
||||
|
||||
"Well done, Sorryman. Welcome to my home planet. It's quite nice, isn't it? It's
|
||||
called Pleebia. The greatest people were born here."
|
||||
|
||||
"You're an alien?" Lili said in disbelief.
|
||||
|
||||
"Yes."
|
||||
|
||||
"But you look human!" Shouted Fede.
|
||||
|
||||
"And you look like Neckbeardian. Now, shall we get to down to business?" Pleeb asked calmly.
|
||||
|
||||
The whole crowd of Tulpae and humans stood silently. The creator of Tulpa.info was alien!
|
||||
|
||||
"Where's Chess?" Asked Chupi.
|
||||
|
||||
"Don't be silly. Chess was a facade. A trick. To get idiots to like FAQman and
|
||||
Irish to make guides. In fact, you all are advancing the Tulpa cause. Amazing."
|
||||
Pleeb replied.
|
||||
|
||||
"But why make a website for Tulpae if you don't have one?" Questioned Shy.
|
||||
|
||||
"Ah, yes, my little yellow pony. It's simple: I made it so your planet would go
|
||||
insane with people in their heads. Do you know how much easier it is to conquer
|
||||
a planet when the whole population is sitting in their own filth, having
|
||||
adventures in their head all day? It's absolutely brilliant!" Pleeb exclaimed
|
||||
excitedly.
|
||||
|
||||
"But why conquer Earth?" Asked Smooze.
|
||||
|
||||
"Why? For the milk, of course!"
|
||||
|
||||
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, like the reason made perfect sense.
|
||||
Sorryman, Kadoh, and their Tulpae we're the only ones who actually thought this
|
||||
plan was dumb.
|
||||
|
||||
"Milk? Really? Milk?" Sorryman snorted.
|
||||
|
||||
"Yes."
|
||||
|
||||
"That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard anyone say." Kadoh sneered.
|
||||
|
||||
"It's absolutely brilliant! With the milk, I can make myself what I've always
|
||||
wanted to be- a hermaphrodite." Pleeb squealed in excitement.
|
||||
|
||||
Somewhere in the crowd, someone shouted "I'm surrounded by retards.", then a gun
|
||||
shot rang out. Everyone gasped in confusion. They looked and saw Albatross on
|
||||
the ground, dead with a bullet hole in his head. Everyone realized it was
|
||||
Albatross, then they just turned back around.
|
||||
|
||||
Not a single fuck was given by anyone.
|
||||
|
||||
"Now! You must go across the planet of Pleebia to find me a vital object! It is
|
||||
necessary for my plan!" Pleeb demanded.
|
||||
|
||||
"Why should we help you?" The whole crowd asked in unison.
|
||||
|
||||
"Because if you don't, I'll kill you :D." Said Pleeb.
|
||||
|
||||
The crowd grumbled and agreed to do it.
|
||||
|
||||
Sands interjected, saying "What are we looking for?"
|
||||
|
||||
"The mystical Hot Dog Flavored Water." Replied Pleeb.
|
||||
|
||||
Sands snapped into a trance, muttering "oh baby.." While wetting his pants.
|
||||
|
||||
"You have 76 hours to complete this task! Many dangers are up ahead! You must be
|
||||
strong, and able, or you wi--" Pleeb was silenced with a huge "Shut the fuck
|
||||
up."
|
||||
|
||||
Pleeb sighed, and went back inside his tower that no one seemed to notice until now.
|
||||
|
||||
The group began their epic trek...
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
|
|||
---
|
||||
title: The Tulpa Effect
|
||||
author: Sorryman54
|
||||
---
|
||||
Loading…
Reference in New Issue