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Cadey Ratio 2020-07-28 13:04:50 +00:00
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@ -18,6 +18,7 @@ Here are some pages with information about some of my projects:
=> /6e My 6E writeups and worldbuilding for a fantasy novel
=> /journal Flight journal
=> /text Texts from around the internet
You may recognize me from my blog:

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# Starfflame's Journey
This is a record of the Discord messages that Starfflame has sent in relation to their meditative journeys. I'm keeping a log of them because they seem to not be.
## M07 26 2020
> > Within
@ -367,3 +369,118 @@ not gonna lie as a non plural person talking to Him as i did in my meditation wa
> > 49616e
> Cadey, I also gave that a shot but it didnt work on me
> It didnt reduce the existential dread and anxiety.
## M07 28 2020
:thonk:
should i try meditating again
> > Within
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=958qchBNs60&feature=youtu.be
=> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=958qchBNs60&feature=youtu.be The Heart Sutra
> The Heart Sutra has such a beautiful structure
>
> Listen Sariputra,
> this Body itself is Emptiness
> and Emptiness itself is this Body.
> This Body is not other than Emptiness
> and Emptiness is not other than this Body.
> The same is true of Feelings,
> Perceptions, Mental Formations and Consciousness.
>
> Listen Sariputra,
> All phenomena bear the mark of Emptiness;
> their true nature is the nature of
> no Birth no Death,
> no Being no Non-being,
> no Defilement no Purity,
> no Increasing no Decreasing.
>
> That is why in Emptiness,
> Body, Feelings, Perceptions,
> Mental Formations and consciousness
> are not separate self entities.
i wonder what crazy adventures my brain will take me on this time
> > Within
> living the dream :D
im not sure what i did but the past two or three days have been great
i cant remember the last time ive felt... not unhappy before now.
its great
here we go
Well then.
@Within my brain did weird things again
Not bad per se but definitely unusual
this requires a bit of context
pretty much my entire life I engaged in self-harm (blunt force trauma stuff) in response to what i perceived to be severe failures or just in response to intense self-loathing spikes
So.
Pretty quick after I started meditating I had visions of myself doing that kind of stuff to myself, and the feeling of hitting yourself that feels good as well, before the voice from the past two nights said “You keep beating yourself but the problems never went away”
He repeated this general cycle for a few minutes before a new comrade showed up with a higher pitched voice and said “We cant keep doing this, Star” (replace star with real name)
Minor variations of this went on for a very long time as my conscious mind replied “no, we probably should figure out a way to stop before we kill ourselves”
so
now i have no idea why i have comrade #1 and comrade #2
oh god
i broke something didn't i
> > Within
> i'd say you're fixing it tbh
> i'd suggest starting a journal of some kind for these kinds of revelations
why is there comrade number two now
eh who cares
> > Within
> that's the spirit
> > Bootstrap
> no thats the starfflame
as far as i can tell they seem to be extensions of my mind as opposed to distinct consciousnesses
so i think im fine
i think.
> > Within
> sounds like your higher self
the thing that scared me originally was i thought i somehow made myself plural
because if that happened that would be a Very Big Problem
> > Within
> why?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
because i dont want it?
> > Within
> fair
that doesnt really answer the heart of the question though
to be fair
i just said the same thing in a different way
to someone who is not plural having multiple personalities or consciousnesses or whatever is incredibly offputting
in addition it would cause a lot of problems
and in general make my life a lot harder
i would rather not replace depression with that
and they called me by my name
i never mentally call myself by my own name
fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
nope
nuh uh
> > Within
> breathe
breathing is what got me into this in the first place
> > Mai
> you'll be fine
nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh

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# The Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
TRANSLATION BY THICH NHAT HANH
Or The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom
Avalokiteshvara
while practicing deeply with
the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore,
suddenly discovered that
all of the five Skandhas are equally empty,
and with this realisation
he overcame all Ill-being.
"Listen Sariputra,
this Body itself is Emptiness
and Emptiness itself is this Body.
This Body is not other than Emptiness
and Emptiness is not other than this Body.
The same is true of Feelings,
Perceptions, Mental Formations,
and Consciousness.
"Listen Sariputra,
all phenomena bear the mark of Emptiness;
their true nature is the nature of
no Birth no Death,
no Being no Non-being,
no Defilement no Purity,
no Increasing no Decreasing.
"That is why in Emptiness,
Body, Feelings, Perceptions,
Mental Formations and Consciousness
are not separate self entities.
The Eighteen Realms of Phenomena
which are the six Sense Organs,
the six Sense Objects,
and the six Consciousnesses
are also not separate self entities.
The Twelve Links of Interdependent Arising
and their Extinction
are also not separate self entities.
Ill-being, the Causes of Ill-being,
the End of Ill-being, the Path, insight and attainment,
are also not separate self entities.
Whoever can see this
no longer needs anything to attain.
Bodhisattvas who practice
the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
see no more obstacles in their mind,
and because there
are no more obstacles in their mind,
they can overcome all fear,
destroy all wrong perceptions
and realize Perfect Nirvana.
"All Buddhas in the past, present and future
by practicing
the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
are all capable of attaining
Authentic and Perfect Enlightenment.
"Therefore Sariputra,
it should be known that
the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
is a Great Mantra,
the most illuminating mantra,
the highest mantra,
a mantra beyond compare,
the True Wisdom that has the power
to put an end to all kinds of suffering.
Therefore let us proclaim
a mantra to praise
the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore:
Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha!
Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha!
Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha!
=> https://1gkys61108am2vvslv1ayriu-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/2014-Thich-Nhat-Hanh-New-Heart-Sutra-letter-cc.pdf source

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# Texts
Some are excerpts from other larger bits of text, some are just things I've found floating around the internet's subconscious. I hope they are useful.
=> ./heart-sutra.gmi The Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore