more words
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@ -18,6 +18,7 @@ Here are some pages with information about some of my projects:
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=> /6e My 6E writeups and worldbuilding for a fantasy novel
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=> /journal Flight journal
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=> /text Texts from around the internet
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You may recognize me from my blog:
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@ -1,5 +1,7 @@
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# Starfflame's Journey
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This is a record of the Discord messages that Starfflame has sent in relation to their meditative journeys. I'm keeping a log of them because they seem to not be.
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## M07 26 2020
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> > Within
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@ -367,3 +369,118 @@ not gonna lie as a non plural person talking to Him as i did in my meditation wa
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> > 49616e
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> Cadey, I also gave that a shot but it didn’t work on me
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> It didn’t reduce the existential dread and anxiety.
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## M07 28 2020
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:thonk:
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should i try meditating again
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> > Within
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> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=958qchBNs60&feature=youtu.be
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=> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=958qchBNs60&feature=youtu.be The Heart Sutra
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> The Heart Sutra has such a beautiful structure
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>
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> Listen Sariputra,
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> this Body itself is Emptiness
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> and Emptiness itself is this Body.
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> This Body is not other than Emptiness
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> and Emptiness is not other than this Body.
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> The same is true of Feelings,
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> Perceptions, Mental Formations and Consciousness.
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>
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> Listen Sariputra,
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> All phenomena bear the mark of Emptiness;
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> their true nature is the nature of
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> no Birth no Death,
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> no Being no Non-being,
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> no Defilement no Purity,
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> no Increasing no Decreasing.
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>
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> That is why in Emptiness,
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> Body, Feelings, Perceptions,
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> Mental Formations and consciousness
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> are not separate self entities.
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i wonder what crazy adventures my brain will take me on this time
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> > Within
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> living the dream :D
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i’m not sure what i did but the past two or three days have been great
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i can’t remember the last time i’ve felt... not unhappy before now.
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it’s great
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here we go
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Well then.
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@Within my brain did weird things again
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Not bad per se but definitely unusual
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this requires a bit of context
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pretty much my entire life I engaged in self-harm (blunt force trauma stuff) in response to what i perceived to be severe failures or just in response to intense self-loathing spikes
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So.
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Pretty quick after I started meditating I had visions of myself doing that kind of stuff to myself, and the feeling of hitting yourself that feels good as well, before the voice from the past two nights said “You keep beating yourself but the problems never went away”
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He repeated this general cycle for a few minutes before a new comrade showed up with a higher pitched voice and said “We can’t keep doing this, Star” (replace star with real name)
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Minor variations of this went on for a very long time as my conscious mind replied “no, we probably should figure out a way to stop before we kill ourselves”
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so
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now i have no idea why i have comrade #1 and comrade #2
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oh god
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i broke something didn't i
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> > Within
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> i'd say you're fixing it tbh
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> i'd suggest starting a journal of some kind for these kinds of revelations
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why is there comrade number two now
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eh who cares
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> > Within
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> that's the spirit
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> > Bootstrap
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> no thats the starfflame
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as far as i can tell they seem to be extensions of my mind as opposed to distinct consciousnesses
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so i think i’m fine
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i think.
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> > Within
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> sounds like your higher self
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the thing that scared me originally was i thought i somehow made myself plural
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because if that happened that would be a Very Big Problem
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> > Within
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> why?
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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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because i don’t want it?
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> > Within
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> fair
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that doesn’t really answer the heart of the question though
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to be fair
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i just said the same thing in a different way
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to someone who is not plural having multiple personalities or consciousnesses or whatever is incredibly offputting
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in addition it would cause a lot of problems
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and in general make my life a lot harder
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i would rather not replace depression with that
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and they called me by my name
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i never mentally call myself by my own name
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fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
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nope
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nuh uh
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> > Within
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> breathe
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breathing is what got me into this in the first place
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> > Mai
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> you'll be fine
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nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh
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@ -0,0 +1,86 @@
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# The Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
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TRANSLATION BY THICH NHAT HANH
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Or The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom
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Avalokiteshvara
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while practicing deeply with
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the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore,
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suddenly discovered that
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all of the five Skandhas are equally empty,
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and with this realisation
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he overcame all Ill-being.
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"Listen Sariputra,
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this Body itself is Emptiness
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and Emptiness itself is this Body.
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This Body is not other than Emptiness
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and Emptiness is not other than this Body.
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The same is true of Feelings,
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Perceptions, Mental Formations,
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and Consciousness.
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"Listen Sariputra,
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all phenomena bear the mark of Emptiness;
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their true nature is the nature of
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no Birth no Death,
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no Being no Non-being,
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no Defilement no Purity,
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no Increasing no Decreasing.
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"That is why in Emptiness,
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Body, Feelings, Perceptions,
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Mental Formations and Consciousness
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are not separate self entities.
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The Eighteen Realms of Phenomena
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which are the six Sense Organs,
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the six Sense Objects,
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and the six Consciousnesses
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are also not separate self entities.
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The Twelve Links of Interdependent Arising
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and their Extinction
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are also not separate self entities.
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Ill-being, the Causes of Ill-being,
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the End of Ill-being, the Path, insight and attainment,
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are also not separate self entities.
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Whoever can see this
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no longer needs anything to attain.
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Bodhisattvas who practice
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the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
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see no more obstacles in their mind,
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and because there
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are no more obstacles in their mind,
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they can overcome all fear,
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destroy all wrong perceptions
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and realize Perfect Nirvana.
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"All Buddhas in the past, present and future
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by practicing
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the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
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are all capable of attaining
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Authentic and Perfect Enlightenment.
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"Therefore Sariputra,
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it should be known that
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the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
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is a Great Mantra,
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the most illuminating mantra,
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the highest mantra,
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a mantra beyond compare,
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the True Wisdom that has the power
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to put an end to all kinds of suffering.
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Therefore let us proclaim
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a mantra to praise
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the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore:
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Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha!
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Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha!
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Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha!
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=> https://1gkys61108am2vvslv1ayriu-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/2014-Thich-Nhat-Hanh-New-Heart-Sutra-letter-cc.pdf source
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@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
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# Texts
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Some are excerpts from other larger bits of text, some are just things I've found floating around the internet's subconscious. I hope they are useful.
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=> ./heart-sutra.gmi The Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore
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