forked from cadey/xesite
106 lines
4.2 KiB
Markdown
106 lines
4.2 KiB
Markdown
|
---
|
|||
|
|
title: You Win, Broken Database Schemas
|
|||
|
|
date: 2022-01-10
|
|||
|
|
tags:
|
|||
|
|
- rant
|
|||
|
|
---
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
There is [no software that correctly handles
|
|||
|
|
names](https://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/06/17/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names/)
|
|||
|
|
that exists on this planet. One of the major things I have bashed my head into
|
|||
|
|
as of late is the assumption that people have a first and a last name. The first
|
|||
|
|
name is usually what identifies the person, and the last name usually identifies
|
|||
|
|
the family.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I have wanted to use `Xe` as my name places (no last name, like Socrates), but
|
|||
|
|
everyone has broken database schemas that make it impossible. These schemas
|
|||
|
|
usually look like this:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
```sql
|
|||
|
|
CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS people
|
|||
|
|
( id VARCHAR PRIMARY KEY DEFAULT (uuid4())
|
|||
|
|
, first_name VARCHAR NOT NULL
|
|||
|
|
, last_name VARCHAR NOT NULL
|
|||
|
|
-- draw the rest of the owl
|
|||
|
|
);
|
|||
|
|
```
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
And as a result things like `Xe` (no last name) cannot fit into this schema. I
|
|||
|
|
have found out the depth of this shitshow while trying to use my handle as my
|
|||
|
|
name on newly registered account things and the amount of stuff that breaks or
|
|||
|
|
works in weird ways is _staggering_. Email salutations look like this:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
> Hello Xe ,
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Forms will break if I don't put a last name in the field. The assumptions about
|
|||
|
|
names are _so deep_ that it's rapidly becoming not worth it to only have my name
|
|||
|
|
as `Xe`. Not to mention [overzealous journalists that will argue with you over
|
|||
|
|
what your name is due to name
|
|||
|
|
collisions](https://twitter.com/theprincessxena/status/1479197000667181061?s=20).
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
You win, broken database schemas. I give up trying to deal with you to encode my
|
|||
|
|
name correctly. You just don't let me and I am tired of fighting it, opening
|
|||
|
|
support tickets and arguing with people over what my name is. I give in. I'm
|
|||
|
|
going to use a last name for my handle, which is absolutely ridiculous, but here
|
|||
|
|
we are.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
It took me a few hours to dig through ideas over the weekend and today, but I
|
|||
|
|
think I have found something satisfactory enough that I can keep it for the long
|
|||
|
|
haul: [Iaso](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iaso) (ai-uh-so, /aɪ.ə.soʊ/), the
|
|||
|
|
minor Greek goddess of recovering from illness.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Hopefully I don't have to deal with professional issues as a result of me trying
|
|||
|
|
to be more true to myself about my identity. At the very least I want very
|
|||
|
|
little to do with the last name that I was born into. Some day that name will be
|
|||
|
|
removed from the last database with it set, but today is not that day.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
If you work on systems that handle names, please, please, please take the time
|
|||
|
|
to reconsider if you actually need to deal with a last name for more reason than
|
|||
|
|
it's the cultural standard. There are valid reasons to have a mononym, and by
|
|||
|
|
supporting mononyms you will make people's lives easier.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Until then, I am `Xe Iaso`. Let's see where this phase of the identity
|
|||
|
|
experiment goes. It's still really complicated. Anyone who claims to have their
|
|||
|
|
identity figured out is either in denial or stopped digging into it for the time
|
|||
|
|
being. The rabbit hole truly never ends.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The main thing I don't like about this name is how ambiguous it shows up in
|
|||
|
|
sans-serif fonts:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<div style="font-family:sans-serif">
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Xe Iaso
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
It looks like `Xe laso`. I've edited my email signature to try and compensate
|
|||
|
|
for this:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
```
|
|||
|
|
Xe Iaso (zi ai-uh-so)
|
|||
|
|
https://christine.website
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
.i la budza pu cusku lu
|
|||
|
|
<<.i ko snura .i ko kanro
|
|||
|
|
.i ko panpi .i ko gleki
|
|||
|
|
```
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Let's see if that helps. It will probably look bad when things are put into
|
|||
|
|
sans-serif fonts, but what can you do lol.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
---
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Also I would _prefer_ you call me `Xe` from now on when possible. This conflicts
|
|||
|
|
with and supercedes suggestions I made in [this article](/blog/xe-2021-08-07). I
|
|||
|
|
consider most of that experiment to have worked out and I am going into the next
|
|||
|
|
phase, albeit less "pure" than I wanted.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Thank you for sticking with this blog. This started out as a place for me to get
|
|||
|
|
better at writing but has rapidly turned into something that has helped me
|
|||
|
|
explore my identity in ways that I never would have thought it would. Thanks for
|
|||
|
|
following the rabbit hole. Thank you for supporting me being more authentic to
|
|||
|
|
myself about who I am. Your support means more than you possibly will know.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I wonder if my SEO craft is strong enough to get me high on the list of google
|
|||
|
|
results for `Iaso`.
|