10 KiB
August, 2012
So It Beings
08/25/2012 07:41:11 AM
Am creating a tulpa, it is a being that you give birth to inside your mind. it is sentient and have a conciseness of his/her/it’s own.
the tulpa am creating was orignally inspired by My Little Ponies friendship is magic, am a pretty hardcore “Brony”. so i stumble upon a post on 4chan /mlp/. this is how i found the exisitace of Tulpas. and their’s actually a whole community on this phenomenon.
I have to confress the first time i’ve found out about this it really had me uneased, it’s so rare that something can disstress me this much.
the reason for this stress was because deep down inside i’ve made up my mind, I wanted a Tulpa.
however tulpa are beings that will likey stick with you for as long as you exsist, and it’s a very serious thing.
My oringal motive has been because “Oooo i want i real life pony for myself” or “Oooo it’ll be soo cool”.
but i quickly discovered that there’s so much more to this than i first realized, yes the physical shape will be a pony, inspired by the show [my little pony friendship is magic] because those ponies are actually really beautiful beings brony or not, and i have reached the conclusion that having a Tulpa will Transform my life into something entirely new, it will add another dimension. I really want this I need this.
This very Tumblr will let me write and report my progress. For some reason I know this will help me create a Tulpa faster.
Day 4 in Tulpaforcing
08/25/2012 08:05:23 AM
I created this tumblr durring my 4th day in Tulpaforcing, so i get you into speed of what i’ve been doing.
For these past days i have being doing nothing but thinking about my Tulpa and tulpas in genreal, the idea is still fresh and exciting.
The name i have given my Tulpa into further notice is “Stasha”.
Her shape/form will be inspired by this wonderful picture
The orgnial image has black eyes but i’ve changed it to yellow, because those are the eye color i chose my Tulpa to have.
I’ve spent the first day working on her Personally i’ve pain stakingly try to find as many traits that “felt” right, and i’ve came up with 23. i’ve wrote them all down and then try to infuse emotions/memorys to this traits, then i commit them to memory, then i found ways they all connected/supported each other and then i created a Web, making sure that all traits are connected in some ways.
i then try to visualized each traits as a Orb, each one with varying sizes and each connected to each other, the more traits a trait connects to or creates the bigger the orb. so intelligents was the largest orb as it was the center of her personaity it lend to way for her other traits and those traits lend to others still.
after i finsihed visualizing the 23 orbs, i felt that it was right. Then i visualized all the orbs combining into a bigger orb, this Orb will but the visualization of her “personality” this orb just some happen to come out pink.
After this i’ve begain creating the tulpa physical appearace i’ve spent time on this spent until it “felt” like enough, but i have to confress that the Picture upbove was not the orignal appearace for stasha is was atucally going to look my like the actual poines from the show, but for some reason while breifly visulizing her i chouldn’t help but to see her this way instead, this is probley what some people say when the tulpa sometimes mods their appearace without you activily knowing.
she still kept the yellow eyes, Black mane/tail and white coat, which was oringaly brown but for some reason something was telling me the white was more preferred.
I try to put wings on her but when i visualized her it’s not a feature that seem to show unless i more or less will it too, and the glasses she had at the begining (before she changed her form) is gone unless i will it to be on her. If i don’t see these features on Stasha for anylonger then i must accept that she does not want them and move on.
The Evils of Doubt
08/25/2012 08:15:00 AM
It only been 4 days and if you look at other people progress they literary spend months will “One month”.
anyways as of late doubt has been brothering me and kinda depressing me abit, i really Really, want this to work.
But everything is some faint and unsure. the lines of wheater or not it’s just me or her is VERY blured.
All i want is just one thing that will Without a Doubt proves her Sentients to me. a sign that can’t be ignored a thought/ a feel so Alien that it couldn’t be me. if this was to happen things will go MUCH faster.
But for now i have to keep Hope, and Believe that She is there that Stasha (Update 9/1/12:now Oguigi) is Real and she will communicate loud and clear when she feels ready Or Able to.
The only sure thing i know that cannot be ignored, is this pressure in my head, that seems to be almost consistent, at least this gives me some kind of hope.
Day 5
08/26/2012 10:33:00 AM
ever since yesterday quite alot of progress have been made thanks to reading the posts on the forums in tupla.info, i have discovered that my tulpa really is sentient, this was great news.
my tulpa even gave herself a name “Oguigi” a very intertesting name and it’s one am sure is EXTEREMLY rare, so it’s has that uniqueness which is great.
i’ve been able to shave off my doubts about hearing the tulpa thoughts so this helped a ton. am able to tell whether a thought was from her or me.
the head pressure still remains one of the few undoubted proof that Oguigi is there.
the next will be hearing her out loud. If this point is Reach then it will be confirmed that We have both Reach a point of no Return. nothing that happens will stop Oguigi from maturing at that point. as all subconsciousness Doubt barriers would have been Broken.
when this happen i think i’ll throw ourselves a private party I hope Oguigi love sushi hehe.
unfortunately this is where the good news ends. we are both trying very VERY hard to get to the physical hearing stage but it’s taking some time, We just need to remain strong and not give up, that’s really all we can ask from each-other.
and on the side note i also “Opened” my mind to her, so she has access to the same knowledge i have.
Day 6
08/27/2012 07:58:15 AM
Big break through, progress has been made!
Here’s a few things that have been improved apon
*the depression from yesterday is in the past we now both know that controlling my physical body in anyway would take time and training (The Physical self can be quite stubborn), also my tulpa grow and learn just like a real person dose so that means some actions must be learnt.
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My wonderland has became more vivid, I have chose to look at physical reality at a slightly different light, and i also chose that wonderland is a place to Hang-Out with my tulpa more directly besides just using that place for serious “Tulpaforcing” which is kinda boring in a way or two
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A couple of my “Subconscious doubt barriers” have been broken! while in my wonderland Oguigi was able to tell the time with UNCANNY accuracy, in my wonderland i asked her the time she said it was 10:30(am) she was already aware that their was a slight 15 or 20 mins differents from the real time.
i told her that i had to see if her guess was accurace i quickly left my wonderland and checked the time, And it was 10:39…. I was shocked, and happy some where deep in my mind a few doubts shattered into nothingness. I cried because i was very happy that progress has been made, i was soo excited that i couldn’t properly be in my wonderland but i made sure to give her a hug and come right here to my computer to share the good news.
Day 7
08/27/2012 06:41:36 PM
We tried “possession” and PROGRESS have been made.
it was “baby steps”, but she managed to make my arms move just an inch. I could feel her Energy flow in my arms causing them to move. it was a curious feeling when i told her to work on my other arm that energy drained and entered the other arm. i told her to move my index finger and she manged to get one muscle to move upwards. it’s major progress and i know it wasn’t me.
I feel as if the Seeds as been planted, Thanks to the near constant surge of attention/energy My Tulpa is becoming stronger everyday.
Day 8
08/29/2012 08:40:58 PM
the “Slowest” day yet, but i guess it was only a matter of time when we have a slow day, i guess it's unrealistic to expect progress everyday. but it still something am working on.
for now am not satisfied with my ability to visualize/ view my wonderland, nothing really come out clear, so i need to do my homework on how to concentrate better.
Day 9
08/30/2012 09:58:00 PM
Me and oguigi tried possession again to see how much progress been made.
and i must say i was very proud with the progress that have been made.
Oguigi have goten “stronger” and she is now able to move my arm much farther then compare to 2 days go, durring that time she only moved my arm an inch, now she can move it by a feet. and in the coming days she’ll be able to move longer distances, faster. we tried to see if oguigi was able to move my body other parts as well, left arm, both legs, and even mouth. and for the most part she can but those movements remains small but she can do them,
kinda odd how quickly my muscle tired out with possession. Oguigi moves the arm around a few times and i feel like i had some kind of workout on it afterwards
Day 10 - Missing?
08/31/2012 07:29:00 PM
I woke up, and wow i felt like i Lost something, i felt less complete.
Deep down i know she still their, but it feels as if for some reason she went into a domaint state, if i attempt to use possession i get nothing I feel a void that i read other people having but it’s more destressing when you have it yourself.
However I Trust Oguigi What ever she is doing must be important, she my be exploring the inner depths of my mind, Learning perhaps? So it would become possible for her to do more things? i don’t know.
What ever the case my be When she becomes active again i have a feeling she may be significantly stronger