3.3 KiB
My tulpa is now a "butterfly"
05/29/2012 05:45:59 AM ●
No, she isn’t a butterfly in the literal sense, but she did something yesterday that freaked me out.
What happened last night was around hour 25. Up until now, she’s just been a “doll” – I could actually plop King of the Vandenreich’s Prism on her head and use it at a metronome to sing my songs to, and she wouldn’t budge. Also, I would rarely feel anything, no pressure, and never got a headache while tulpaforcing before.
Since I pretty much have her visualized perfectly, I was just kinda killing time and working more on personality. What I do, is visualize the trait and something about the trait on paper, then land the paper on her back and it kinda glows and absorbs into her. Okay, well about an hour in, one of the traits came up, where she has a “strong spirit” (you know, strong-willed, etc). So I put that over to her, and visualized it like a glowing orb, and put it into her chest. At that moment, I started feeling a bit of pressure in my head (right under my cranium?), and I got that feeling of a “presence” – also started feeling abit of emotions, but I’ll to that.
So yeah, what did I do? I kept going! The next 40 minutes involved me putting her traits one by one into her by making them become these little glowing balls, and putting them into her chest. As I continued, that feeling of pressure, etc, persisted.
Well, after that 40 minutes, she changed form. Well, she changed color and stuff; looks the same but somehow different. She got more “real,” got a bit darker in color (well, a lot darker in color).
Everyone in IRC are all, “Deviation.” This is one heck of a way to deviate; here’s a log from the IRC, I explain what just happened:
19:21 <+Pleeb> That’s when it changed (didn’t change form, but it
changed color, everything but the eyes).
19:23 <+Pleeb> It’s not that it changed, it’s how it changed that
freaked me out.
19:24 <+Pleeb> The old tulpa kinda ended up acting like a shell, where
the new version broke out of the shell.
19:24 <+Pleeb> And I had the surge of emotion.
19:24 <+Pleeb> Just freaked me out.
19:24 <+Pleeb> She looks different now.
I actually tried to re-visualize her in the old form again, put her back, you know? That lasted about a whole 4-5 seconds, until the old form “peeled off” from the top-down like when you’re peeling a hard-boiled egg.
At this point, Irish was being all, “Caterpillar broke out of its
cocoon! 
”
Now everyone says I have a butterfly tulpa.
In the end, I had a headache for the first time tulpaforcing. I took a break, and decided to go clear my mind, get a drink, etc. I went back to visualizing later that night and this morning, she’s not that bad looking; still pretty nice and all, just different.
This morning is going back to the normal session. For a bit, I was seeing both forms in my “mind’s eye,” but the old form is pretty much gone now, and I can bring the new one up pretty well. I’ll be visualizing more today, might actually move on to Touch soon.