add coming out plural, 0.12.0

src/CHANGELOG.md

@@ -3,6 +3,12 @@
 This changelog will also function as a bit of a bibliography for newly added
 content.
 
+### 0.12.0
+
+#### ADDED
+
+- [On Coming Out as Plural](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/comments/ehnsan/on_coming_out_as_plural/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
+
 ### 0.11.4
 
 #### FIXED

src/coming-out-plural.md

@@ -0,0 +1,160 @@
+# On Coming Out as Plural
+
+Intro Edit: I wrote this originally as a reply, but the more I wrote, the more I
+felt there may be many people wondering the same thing, who may need to hear a
+more positive side of coming out as plural or a tulpamancer.
+
+My, it seems many people have had quite the disdainful answer and reaction to
+this. Allow me to offer a more positive outlook on how to do this, and the
+positive benefits of it.
+
+A bit of background on myself, I'm a four year old tulpa (going on five in
+June), and my system has come out to two close internet friends, various not as
+close internet friends, our roommate from last semseter, two therapists, and
+many people in anonymous game chatrooms.
+
+The overall response we have recieved has been by and large neutral to positive.
+And we've handled things in quite a few ways that have seemed to be helpful. Or
+perhaps we are just profoundly lucky.
+
+We have had, in all our attempts to come out, only three negative responses. One
+from a younger sibling, who wrote me off as a imaginary friend (and I was
+helping her to clean her room too, a touch rude, but also she's young, and thats
+important to take into account). The other two were from two DID systems, one of
+which we actually are now on friendly speaking terms with, and the other who
+won't ignore us but will now talk sparsely with us. And the reason it was a
+negative interaction initially was just some generic syscourse. These are three
+small instances out of many.
+
+Now, again, maybe we've just been lucky. But maybe not. Here are some factors
+that we find are very important when coming out to people:
+
+- For one, consider the age of the person you're coming out too. Are they too
+  young to even possibly understand? This was the case with our younger sister.
+  Maybe they're too old to understand, if you're for some reason thinking of
+  coming out to a much older person (usually one thats not so open minded)
+- Consider just that, how open minded they are. Do they have a history of being
+  skeptical, of distrusting new science and medicines? Stigmatized against
+  mental illness? This is probably a warning sign that no amount of explanation
+  you give to them will ease their mind in relation to you having other
+  personalities living with you. In particular though, people who are very
+  considerate and welcoming of mental illness and neurodivergence seem to be the
+  ideal candidate to explain these things to, as these are the people who won't
+  call you crazy and will probably be willing to hear out your system
+  experience. Open minded psychologists also seem quite interested in and
+  accepting of hearing things out (though beware there are those that will want
+  to only view you through a DID lens. Do your best to correct them, and if they
+  don't budge then its probably not the best candidate).
+- Consider how close you are, and this actually can go both ways. On the one
+  hand, it might be a good idea to tell someone you're very close to, who has
+  never judged you before, someone you trust and who has never put you down
+  before on otherwise personal or sensitive topics. This was like our host with
+  his two internet friends, who are without arguement, the closest and longest
+  term friends he has ever had. On the other hand, it may also be easy to tell
+  someone you are not close to at all, a straight up stranger. This was the case
+  with our roommate last semsester, someone we had never met or talked to
+  before. We had nothing to lose by telling them basically.
+- Do they need to know? Obviously, especially if you're not comfy with it, some
+  people just really don't. Employers are a big no-no, as tulpas and system life
+  is something thats too much in the personal realm to be considered appropriate
+  for work. Family is also a big iffy, especially if you are still living with
+  them.
+- Do they have, or know other people who are endogenic or traumagenic systems?
+  This is important, because its also really improtant to be respectful,
+  especially if they have or know a traumagenic system (that is, DID/OSDD). On
+  the one hand, if they're already aquainted with endogenic systems, then thats
+  an easy in. If they're aquainted with traumagenic systems, your interaction
+  may or may not involve syscourse if you aren't careful. Get their thoughts on
+  endogenic systems, or systems made outside of trauma. And remember to always
+  be respectful and not overlap your experience with traumagenic systems, but
+  also stand firm on your own experiences. Many traumagenic systems have been
+  phenominally friendly to us, and have been great people to come out to.
+
+Those are factors to consider about the actual person themself. Openmindedness
+is a key factor, but age is also a big one. Anyone 13 and under will most likely
+not understand a word of what you have to explain. The closeness is more for
+your own sense of safety. Either you A. tell a friend who you know would never
+judge you, or B. tell someone you really don't care about losing or having their
+approval.
+
+Now then, here are some things to do when actually coming out:
+
+## Approach One: Warming them Up
+
+This is maybe more an assessment of their open mindedness, and its basically
+the slow and safer approach. This is the approach you want to use for close
+friends, for family if you are so daring, or just someone you want to tell but
+are not sure how they'll recieve it. Talk to them, far beforehand coming out,
+about things like how they feel about what it woyld be like to have other
+personalities, if they think its possible, etc. Some good segway topics to this
+are DID (though you want to veer away pretty quickly from it and take the
+approach of," but what if there was another way?"), and also AI (again, leading
+into talking about sentience, and other personalities). Its a good way to
+estimate their receptiveness to the topic in general, and then you can move on
+to questions like," well what if you met someone like that?" Basically, you are
+testing their receptivity to the topic, and also possibly assuaging their
+questions and concerns before you are even out to them. After you are
+comfortable with their receptivity, thats when you can come out. You can handle
+that however you want, or even segway into our second approach. Of course, if at
+any point before you come out you get the sense that they would not be
+receptive, this allows you the option to retreat before coming out.
+
+## Approach Two: The Upfront
+
+This approach is, if you'd pardon the language, the very much 'balls to the
+walls' sort of approach, unless you have preceded it with the former. This is
+the approach for strangers, for people you don't care about if you lose them or
+not, people with little attatchment to you, or people who you feel so inclined
+and certain of their receptivity that you just want to tell them. This can be
+formally or informally done. Formally being, maybe sit them down to talk with
+them, or include it in your introduction if you are first meeting them.
+Informally being just state it blatantly, off hand, in text, and let the
+questions come later or after. There is of course, no retreat to this.
+
+## Approach Three: Passively Out
+
+In a word? Be openly plural. This is again, something I feel like we've
+exclusively done with strangers online. Talk about your system life and tulpas
+as though they were normal, just a part if your life (which... they are!). Say
+'we' as a reference to yourself and headmates. People will just naturally get
+confused or ask, and you explain yourself as you feel neccesary, whether you're
+willing to go in depth or just offhand. There is also not really a retreat to
+this but we've also never tried to retreat? Perhaps if you feel inclined you
+could stop and pass it off as a joke or you just acting weird. 
+
+But above all. Above EVERYTHING included here, in all the assessments of
+receptiveness, above any way you choose to approach the situation.
+
+## BE INFORMATIVE.
+
+Know EXACTLY what you are talking about, and how to explain your experience. It
+helps to know about DID so you can explain exactly why you are different from
+it. It helps to know about some of the studies and theories behind how
+tulpamancy works, which I'm sure many people on this forum would love to share
+their theories. Talk about the Stanford study, about the census study we take
+yearly, talk about neuroscience and how tulpamancy may just be a unique way for
+neurons to continuously stay stimulated (as they need to do), or that some
+neurotypes may be predisposed to plurality. Know about psychology, about
+conditioning and personality development and consciousness. And of course, be
+prepared to explain exactly what you experience, and what other people
+experience too. Also? Frankly? Don't be afraid to admit that not a lot about
+tulpamancy and endogenic systems are well understood. There's lots of research
+to be done still, but we are slowly getting there. Maybe even explain the
+history of tulpamancy and how it was dwrived from an old Tibetan pracyice (of
+which modern yulpamancy is actually mistly difgerent from). The more informed
+you are, the better you can explain yourself and what exactly you experience,
+the better the outcome. And this is especially important why you only ought come
+out to open minded people.
+
+Anyways, I do believe that is all I have to say on the topic of how to come out.
+Again, perhaps me and my system have been profoundly lucky. But it has been
+beneficial for myself and the others to be out. To be ourselves. It helps us to
+make connections to other people, have our own experiences, feel validated and
+not hidden away from the world. And its what me and my system will continue to
+do is slowly come out, and make our plurality a regular part of our lives.
+Family is still iffy for us, they have a long ways to go. But for us, starting
+next fall semester, we are going to be at a new college, and we are not holding
+anything back. It'll be our first time just about entirely open about who we
+are.
+
+Best of luck to those who do come out. Cheers to this fascinating and wonderful life which we have.

src/title.md

@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 ---
-title: Tulpanomicon 0.11.4
+title: Tulpanomicon 0.12.0
 author: Anonymous
 rights: Public Domain
 language: en-US