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blog: suggestions for recruiters
Signed-off-by: Xe Iaso <me@christine.website>
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title: "What To Do As A Recruiter When A Gender-diverse Person Asks You To Update Their Name"
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date: 2022-04-01
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---
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[I really wish this was an April Fool's post. I had a few ideas planned, but
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maybe you will get to see them next year.<br /><br />As a reminder, I am
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speaking for myself and not for my employer.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
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This post is directed at all of the recruiters that are reading this blog. This
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is a scenario that many of you may not have dealt with. After having an example
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of this with a recruiter recently I figure it's a teaching moment.
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I am speaking up about this because I know many others who have gone through the
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same kinds of problems and have not felt safe to speak up about them. I am not
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speaking for those people in this post, but I want to use my platform as a
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blogger to amplify the sentiment of what I have heard over the years.
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## To Recruiters
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As a recruiter, if you are cold-emailing someone, please do the research to get
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their name correct. If you do not and someone asks you to correct it, do it.
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When gender-diverse people like me get an email that references an out of date
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name, it is seen as a sign that the person sending that email has not done their
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research before sending that email out into the void.
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When you correct that name in your system also make sure to cancel all outgoing
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automated emails to that person. The caching layer of the recruiting system may
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have already drafted those emails based on a template. If they go out, this will
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be seen as a _massive sign of disrespect_. It will also make the person
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receiving that email question if you _actually corrected_ the name in that
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system or not. It may make the recipient also question if you are just giving
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them lip service to save face instead of making a genuine effort to ensure that
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the recruiting system has accurate information in it.
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This is not a good way to foster the kind of trust needed for a gender-diverse
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person to want to choose your employer as the single point of failure for access
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to medication, food and regular medical checkups. For many gender-diverse
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people, changing jobs can mean an interruption of access to life-saving
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medication.
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You may get a slightly angry reply if you send out emails with incorrect
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information. This can happen because gender-diverse people are likely to feel
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like society really doesn't care about them and that they are not being
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respected to have agency over their identity. To some this is a fact and not
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a feeling. And with
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[all](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/mar/10/idaho-bill-trans-youth-treatment-ban-passes-house)
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[of](https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/03/17/texas-trans-child-abuse-investigations/)
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[the](https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/alabama-bill-seeks-ban-hormone-treatments-trans-youth-rcna18512)
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[actions](https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/breaking-2021-becomes-record-year-for-anti-transgender-legislation)
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governments have been taking to directly attack the freedoms and rights to
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self-determination that gender-diverse people like me rely on, you can't blame
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them for being fed up with the situation. It is not fun to feel like your very
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existence is made out to be some black mark of doom on Western civilization. It
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is even less fun to be reminded of that when reading your email inbox. Please
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understand that we mean well, society is just broken in general.
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The least you can do is ensure that you do _any amount of research_ to ensure
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that you are using the correct name. It may be a good idea to add the following
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text to your recruiting emails (before you brag about fundraising is probably
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best, I tune out about then):
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> If I got your name incorrect, please let me know what name/pronouns you would
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> like me > to update our system to use. I got this name from $SOURCE.
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Adding the source of where you got that name from can help make this less
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stressful for gender-diverse people. People's names are spattered everywhere
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across the internet. Letting people know where you got that information from can
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help them know what to fix if a fix is needed.
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Some chosen names may seem "weird" due to societal biases that serve to ensure
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that the primary way that people use to refer to eachother in particular are not
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chosen by the people being referred to. Trust that the person on the other end
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is being honest about their identity. The truth requires no belief.
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If they ask you to update their pronouns, respect that and ensure you use them
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without failure. Using the wrong pronouns can be seen as an even worse
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disrespect than using the wrong name. You do not want this to happen if your
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goal is to find people to hire.
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## To Gender-diverse People
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Yeah, this situation sucks. I can't disagree. You really do need to assume good
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faith as much as you can. Most of these recruiter systems rely on ["data
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enrichment" APIs](https://clearbit.com/) and potentially outdated mass scraping
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of LinkedIn and people's blogs.
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It can help if you make publicly available posts like
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[this](/blog/xe-2021-08-07) that unambiguously say what you want people to call
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you by. Keep it updated in case journalists decide to compare your chosen name
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to mercenary groups.
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Try to be as polite and direct as possible. Here is an example of how I have
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asked recruiters to update their information in the past:
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> Please update your files with the name "Xe Iaso" (capital I). I am
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> slowly moving away from "Christine Dodrill" as the name I use to
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> represent myself professionally.
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If you are moving away from a "dead name", you may want to use something like
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this:
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> I have no record of a "Christine Dodrill" at this email address. You may want
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> to look elsewhere. If you would like to proceed with me instead, here is
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> information about me: https://christine.website.
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Throw in your pronouns too to be safe.
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[I really need to change this blog's domain, but I have such amazing SEO that I
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really don't want to break it.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
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Also consider deleting the email and not replying to them. That's totally valid
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too unless you are in desperate need for a new employer.
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You do not need to justify speaking up about an employer having the wrong name
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for you. The truth requires no belief. Speaking the truth to power is the
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essence of valor, which is one of the highest forms of love.
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