forked from cadey/xesite
73 lines
3.2 KiB
Markdown
73 lines
3.2 KiB
Markdown
---
|
|
title: "Hidden Secrets to Making a New Microservices Cluster a Success"
|
|
date: 2022-01-27
|
|
tags:
|
|
- microservices
|
|
- k8s
|
|
- deployment
|
|
- cicd
|
|
- hashtag
|
|
- swag
|
|
- gke
|
|
- eks
|
|
- anthos
|
|
- satire
|
|
---
|
|
|
|
[So everyone is talking about microservices these days. I've been wondering what
|
|
the best way to make a fully end-to-end continuously deployed multi-cloud
|
|
federated global microservices cluster is. Do you have any advice? My product
|
|
team needs this done quickly so we can meet an artificial deadline set by
|
|
someone that doesn't understand the problems we face at
|
|
all.](conversation://Mara/hmm)
|
|
|
|
[Don't.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
|
|
|
|
[But based on all the artificial requirements this looks like it's the solution
|
|
to all our needs! We can set up Anthos on GKE to combine our EKS clusters with
|
|
our legacy onprem Kubernetes cluster so that we can have a fully hyperscaled
|
|
coherent user experience across multiple continents!](conversation://Mara/happy)
|
|
|
|
[Do you like hurting yourself? You are not Google. You do not need to be
|
|
hyperscale. You can probably get away with running this as one big monolith on a
|
|
server you rent from a datacenter. Two servers if you want redundancy, but
|
|
that's most likely not relevant until you get above several tens of thousands of
|
|
daily active users. Single servers can do more than you think. Most of what you
|
|
pay for in a server is idle compute. Use it.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
|
|
|
|
[But we need to have the ability to horizontally scale to meet the latency
|
|
requirements that marketing made up so that our time to first byte is minimized,
|
|
we need to reap that sweet, sweet SEO optimization so that people can connect
|
|
and live with eachother while having the highest possible quality experience so
|
|
they come back soon.](conversation://Mara/hmm)
|
|
|
|
[If keeping customers is really your goal, make your product more addictive than
|
|
porn, drugs and TikTok. Either that or make a cult. Those are great ways to
|
|
abuse parts of the human baser instincts to make sure that you can maintain
|
|
users over longer amounts of time.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
|
|
|
|
[But how do I make the cluster though?](conversation://Mara/hmm)
|
|
|
|
[Don't.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
|
|
|
|
[But the SRE team I'm on can take care of the requisite
|
|
setup.](conversation://Mara/wat)
|
|
|
|
[Lol, no it can't. You will be managing more servers than man has any right to
|
|
care about. You will be subjecting yourself to a torture that the Geneva
|
|
Convention has not banned yet because the sheer philosophical depths of
|
|
depravity have not been fully understood yet. You will become an expert in YAML
|
|
and then find out the truth of how much it will take out of your mortal
|
|
lifespan. You will be fighting people trying to use HTML templating languages to
|
|
create YAML and you will be terrified to find out that this strategy works at
|
|
all. You will burn out so hard that you will never want to touch a computer
|
|
again. <br /><br />Do you really want to do this to yourself? Do you really want
|
|
to subject yourself to a level of misery that will define the rest of your life?
|
|
Do you want to have to explain what the torture nexus of AWS is to therapists?
|
|
Do you want to create this reality? Doing this will do all of those things and
|
|
more.](conversation://Cadey/coffee)
|
|
|
|
MIGROSERBICES
|
|
|
|
[[Remainder of content expunged by the order of O5-1]]
|