troll reppy

This reverts commit efc5d32de7.
This reverts commit 441a5707b9.
This reverts commit a5a9e25643.

LICENSE

@@ -1,24 +1,7 @@
-This is free and unencumbered software released into the public domain.
+Copyright 2015 Christine Dodrill <xena@yolo-swag.com>
 
-Anyone is free to copy, modify, publish, use, compile, sell, or
-distribute this software, either in source code form or as a compiled
-binary, for any purpose, commercial or non-commercial, and by any
-means.
+Usage of the works is permitted provided that this instrument is retained
+with the works, so that any entity that uses the works is notified of
+this instrument.
 
-In jurisdictions that recognize copyright laws, the author or authors
-of this software dedicate any and all copyright interest in the
-software to the public domain. We make this dedication for the benefit
-of the public at large and to the detriment of our heirs and
-successors. We intend this dedication to be an overt act of
-relinquishment in perpetuity of all present and future rights to this
-software under copyright law.
-
-THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND,
-EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF
-MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT.
-IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHORS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR
-OTHER LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE,
-ARISING FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR
-OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE.
-
-For more information, please refer to <http://unlicense.org/>
+DISCLAIMER: THE WORKS ARE WITHOUT WARRANTY.

core/main.py

@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@ class Input(dict):
         self[key] = value
 
 
-@fuckit
+#@fuckit
 def run(func, input):
     args = func._args
 

plugins/compliment.py

@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+import re
+import requests
+from util import hook
+
+@hook.command
+@hook.regex("^feel good fact$", re.IGNORECASE)
+def compliment(inp):
+    r = requests.get("http://compliment.b303.me/")
+    return r.text

plugins/data/plinkett.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+This guy Lucas has got us all by the balls. His fingers are in our wallets. Get your finger out of my ass wallet!
+The Millennium Falcon is safe. It was not raped. Where would you rape the Millennium Falcon anyway?
+I'm gonna fuck my cat and eat my cat and I'm gonna kidnap a hooker, and it'll help me fuck the pain away.
+Now I've analyzed this movie with a team of cheerleaders, who all came to one unanymous conclusion: that if I let them go, they won't tell nobody.
+What red-blooded male wouldn't want to dock his canoe in Natalie's port, man?
+Empire pulled this off perfectly, of course. 'Cause I love Empire so much I fuck it.
+Oh, my pizza rolls is done. You want some pizza rolls? Are ya sure? They're really good pizza rolls. They're hot and pizza-y.
+This is what they call filler, and it's nowhere near as good as the kind they put in Twinkies. Mmmmm...I like to fuck my cat.
+Paging Dr. Plinkett. Dr. Plinkett is in, I'm here. Somebody pass the Vicodin. No, wait, we need Ambien. Well, we sure need some-thien.
+And someone even said it was the bestest movie ever because it had lava in it. Aw, ain't he cute? His name is Johnny. I adopted him, from a grocery store parking lot.
+Even Ray Charles could see that coming, and he doesn't know anything about Star Wars.
+There are two types of people in this world: people that understand what I'm saying, and people that like the Star Wars prequels.
+Now, is General Grievous supposed to be funny? Cause they said he was a villain, not a comedian, like Larry Seinfeld. But rather a creepy weirdo, like Jerry Flint. I'm so confused.
+Baby's Day Out is about as interesting as my taint.
+When will I get my merkins in the mail?
+Anybody wanna help me milk my cock? http://i.imgur.com/vvfu4Y5.jpg
+You see, a guy named William Shakesman once said, "Brevity is the soul of wit." This just means "Don't waste my time." You keep it nice and simple.
+Anybody want a pizza roll? Post a comment on this webzone if you want a pizza roll.
+Who's fucking with my medicine?
+It's good to show contempt for your audience. Just ask Michael Bay.
+The entire senate is filled with stupid idiots.
+Aw, ain't he cute? His name is Johnny. I adopted him from a grocery store parking lot.
+Trust me, I'm a doctor. Kind of.
+Stop feeding us this pig slop! I'm only half pig.
+What red-blooded male wouldn't want to dock his canoe in Natalie's port, man?
+Anybody wanna help me milk my cat? It's time to make breakfast.
+Palpatine's behind it all.
+See, when you say something right to a woman, she smiles, it tickles her brain, which in turns sends blood flowing down to her sex hole.
+My cat ain't gonna milk itself!
+Sometimes a cigar is just a giant vagina in the desert that swallows men whole.
+What's wrong with your face?
+Get outta my house. Get outta my creepy house. Don't go in my basement either.

plugins/hack.py

@@ -0,0 +1,315 @@
+#!/usr/bin/python
+
+import sys, os
+import random
+import string
+import re
+
+choice = random.choice
+randint = random.randint
+
+def dc(n, m=20):
+    return n < randint(0, m-1)
+
+base_noun = [
+    'TCP', 'IP', 'UDP', 'BGP', 'DNS', 'ARP spoof', 'ARP', 'JavaScript',
+    'HTML', 'CSS', 'XML', 'SOAP', 'REST', 'SSL', 'socket', 'BSD', 'linux',
+    'MPI', 'OpenMP', 'SYN/ACK', 'kernel', 'ELF', 'COFF', '68000', 'x86',
+    'MIPS', 'ethernet', 'MAC', 'C', 'C++', 'Java', 'JSON', 'ruby',
+    'python', 'linked list', 'radix trie', 'hash table', 'SQL', 'makefile',
+    '/proc', '/dev/null', 'tty', 'regex', 'sed', 'vim', 's/// operation',
+    'operation', 'port scanner', 'port scan', 'lookup table', 'anti-<noun>',
+    '<verber> manual', '<verber> config', 'IRC', 'IRC bot', 'bootloader',
+    'GNU/<noun>',
+]
+
+
+# I suppose it would be easier to create rules for a lot of these, but 
+# I think LUTs are fine.
+
+base_verb = [
+    ( 'compile',       '-s',        '-d',        '-r',        'compiling' ),
+    ( 'link',          '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'assemble',      '-s',        '-d',        '-r',       'assembling' ),
+    ( 'load',          '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'boot',          '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'reset',         '-s',     'reset',      '-ter',            '-ting' ),
+    ( 'remove',        '-s',        '-d',        '-r',         'removing' ),
+    ( 'decompile',     '-s',        '-d',        '-r',      'decompiling' ),
+    ( 'unlink',        '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'disassemble',   '-s',        '-d',        '-r',    'disassembling' ),
+    ( 'unload',        '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'parse',         '-s',        '-d',        '-r',          'parsing' ),
+    ( 'archive',       '-s',        '-d',        '-r',        'archiving' ),
+    ( 'cherry-pick',   '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'overwrite',     '-s', 'overwrote',        '-r',      'overwriting' ),
+    ( 'edit',          '-s',       '-ed',       '-or',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'compute',       '-s',        '-d',        '-r',        'computing' ),
+    ( 'release',       '-s',        '-d',        '-r',        'releasing' ),
+    ( 'transmit',      '-s',      '-ted',      '-ter',            '-ting' ),
+    ( 'receive',       '-s',        '-d',        '-r',        'receiving' ),
+    ( 'analyze',       '-s',        '-d',        '-r',        'analyzing' ),
+    ( 'print',         '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'save',          '-s',        '-d',        '-r',           'saving' ),
+    ( 'erase',         '-s',        '-d',        '-r',          'erasing' ),
+    ( 'install',       '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'scan',          '-s',      '-ned',      '-ner',            '-ning' ),
+    ( 'port scan',     '-s',      '-ned',      '-ner',            '-ning' ),
+    ( 'nmap',          '-s',      '-ped',      '-per',            '-ping' ),
+    ( 'DDOS',         '-es',      '-sed',      '-ser',            '-sing' ),
+    ( 'exploit',       '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'send',          '-s',      'sent',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'write',         '-s',     'wrote',        '-r',          'writing' ),
+    ( 'detect',        '-s',       '-ed',       '-or',             '-ing' ),
+    ( 'sniff',         '-s',       '-ed',       '-er',             '-ing' ),
+
+    ( 'look up', 'looks up', 'looked up', 'looker upper', 'looking up' ),
+    ( 'check out', 'checks out', 'checked out', 'checker outer', 'checking out' ),
+    ( 'query', 'queries', 'queried', 'querier', 'querying' ),
+]
+
+base_service = [
+    'Google', 'Amazon', 'Stack Overflow', 'Freenode', 'EFnet', 'Usenet',
+    'this old GeoCities page', 'my website', '<person>\'s website',
+]
+
+base_hack_object = [
+    'the <noun>', 'a(n) <noun>', 'the victim\'s <noun>', 'some <noun>',
+    'a(n) <verber> from <service>', '<service>\'s <noun>',
+    'the freeware <noun>', 'a configurable <noun>', 'a working <noun>',
+    'a pre-<verbed> <verber>',
+]
+
+base_tool = [
+    '<noun> <verber>',
+    '<verbed> <noun>',
+    '<verber>',
+    '<verber> for <nouns>',
+    '<verbing> <tool>',
+    'thing that <verbs>',
+    'thing for <verbing> <nouns>',
+    'pre-<noun> <verber>',
+    'anti-<noun> <verber>',
+    '<verbing> tool',
+    '<verber> subsystem',
+    'professional <verber>',
+    '<verber>-<verber> hybrid',
+]
+
+base_tools = [
+    '<noun> <verber>s',
+    '<verbed> <nouns>',
+    '<verber>s',
+    '<verbing> <tools>',
+    'things for <verbing>',
+    'pre-<noun> <verber>s',
+]
+
+base_person = [
+    'Linus Torvalds',
+    'Alan Cox',
+    'Con Colivas',
+    'Ingo Molnar',
+    'Hans Reiser',
+    'Ulrich Drepper',
+    'Larry Wall',
+    'William Pitcock',
+    'Bill Gates',
+    'Ken Thompson',
+    'Brian Khernigan',
+    'Dennis Ritchie',
+    'Eric S. Raymond',
+    'Richard M. Stallman',
+    'DPR',
+    'Sabu',
+]
+
+base_system = [
+    'Amiga', 'C-64', 'IBM PC', 'Z80', 'VAX', 'the PDP-8',
+]
+
+base_time = [
+    'way back', 'a few years ago', 'in the early 90\'s I think',
+    'when everybody had a(n) <verber>',
+    'before anybody knew who <person> was',
+]
+
+# <hack> is intransitive
+# <tool> is singular
+
+base_advice = [
+    'Try <hacking>.',
+    'Did you <hack> first?',
+    'Read up on <hacking>.',
+    'Check <service> for a(n) <tool>.',
+    'See if the <tool> has <hacked> already.',
+    'Did you check the <tool> config?',
+    'Hm, sounds like a problem with the <tool>.',
+    'Doesn\'t look like the <tool> is <hacking>.',
+    'Check the "<tool>" wiki.',
+    'You probably didn\'t <hack>.',
+    'Check the "<tool>" website.',
+    '<hack>, then send me the <tool> output.',
+    'Pastebin your <tool> config.',
+    'I think my <noun> has a(n) <verber>, try that.',
+    '<hacking> worked for me.',
+    'Did you enable the <tool>?',
+    'No, the <tool> <hacks>. You want a(n) <tool>.',
+    'Do you have a(n) <tool> installed?',
+    'A(n) <tool> is needed to <hack>.',
+    '<person> claims you can <hack>.',
+    'I heard <person> <hacks> when that happens.',
+    'I saw on <service>, you can <hack>.',
+    'A(n) <tool> might do the trick.',
+    'Make sure to delete your <tool>. That stuff is illegal.',
+    'Did you <hack> before you <hacked>?',
+    'Where did you <verb> the <tool> to?',
+    'I don\'t know. Ask the guy who wrote your <tool>. I think <person>?',
+    'Was this with a(n) <tool> or a(n) <tool>?',
+    'Please use the official <tool>.',
+    'That won\'t work. You can\'t just <hack>.',
+    '<hack>, <hack>, and THEN <hack>. Sheesh.',
+    'No, don\'t <hack>. <person> recently published a CVE about that.',
+    '<verb>, <verb>, <verb>. This is our motto.',
+    'Don\'t think too hard about <hacking>. The <tool> will do that.',
+    'There\'s a(n) <noun> exploit floating around somewhere. Check <service>.',
+    'Simple <tools> cannot <hack>. You need a good, solid <tool>.',
+    'I had a(n) <tool> for <system> <time>.',
+    'Sounds like you need a(n) <tool>. <person> wrote one for <service>.',
+]
+
+def simple_get(the_list):
+    def get_thing():
+        return choice(the_list)
+    return get_thing
+
+get_base_verb = simple_get(base_verb)
+get_noun = simple_get(base_noun)
+get_service = simple_get(base_service)
+get_hack_object = simple_get(base_hack_object)
+get_tool = simple_get(base_tool)
+get_tools = simple_get(base_tools)
+get_person = simple_get(base_person)
+get_base_advice = simple_get(base_advice)
+get_system = simple_get(base_system)
+get_time = simple_get(base_time)
+
+def get_nouns():
+    n = get_noun()
+    if not n[-1] in string.ascii_letters:
+        return n + '\'s'
+    if n.lower()[-1] in 'xs':
+        return n + 'es'
+    return n + 's'
+
+def compute_verb(n):
+    v = get_base_verb()
+    base = v[0]
+    ext = v[n]
+    if ext[0] == '-':
+        return base + ext[1:]
+    return ext
+
+def make_verb(n):
+    def get_verb():
+        return compute_verb(n)
+    return get_verb
+
+get_verb = make_verb(0)
+get_verbs = make_verb(1)
+get_verbed = make_verb(2)
+get_verber = make_verb(3)
+get_verbing = make_verb(4)
+
+def make_hack(vf):
+    def get_hack():
+        return vf() + ' ' + get_hack_object()
+    return get_hack
+
+def get_hacker():
+    return get_hack_object() + ' ' + get_verber()
+
+get_hack = make_hack(get_verb)
+get_hacks = make_hack(get_verbs)
+get_hacked = make_hack(get_verbed)
+get_hacking = make_hack(get_verbing)
+
+index_get = {
+    'verb':      get_verb,
+    'verbs':     get_verbs,
+    'verbed':    get_verbed,
+    'verber':    get_verber,
+    'verbing':   get_verbing,
+
+    'noun':      get_noun,
+    'nouns':     get_nouns,
+
+    'hack':      get_hack,
+    'hacks':     get_hacks,
+    'hacked':    get_hacked,
+    'hacker':    get_hacker,
+    'hacking':   get_hacking,
+
+    'service':   get_service,
+
+    'tool':      get_tool,
+    'tools':     get_tools,
+
+    'person':    get_person,
+    'system':    get_system,
+    'time':      get_time,
+}
+
+def can_reduce(s):
+    return '<' in s and '>' in s
+
+def reduction(s):
+    s = re.split('[<>]', s)
+    for i, word in enumerate(s):
+        if i % 2 == 0:
+            continue
+        up = False
+        if all(x in string.ascii_uppercase for x in word):
+            up = True
+            word = word.lower()
+        if not word in index_get:
+            word = '?' + word
+        else:
+            word = index_get[word]()
+        if up:
+            word = word.upper()
+        s[i] = word
+    return ''.join(s)
+
+def indefinite_articles(s):
+    s = re.sub('([aA])\\(([nN])\\) ([AEFHILMNORSXaeiou])', '\\1\\2 \\3', s)
+    s = re.sub('([aA])\\([nN]\\) ', '\\1 ', s)
+    return s
+
+def evaluate(s):
+    while can_reduce(s):
+        s = reduction(s)
+    s = indefinite_articles(s)
+    s = s[0].upper() + s[1:]
+    return s
+
+def get_advice():
+    return evaluate(get_base_advice())
+
+if __name__ == '__main__':
+    if len(sys.argv) > 1:
+        print(evaluate(sys.argv[1]))
+    else:
+        print(get_advice())
+
+from util import hook
+
+@hook.command
+def hack(inp):
+    res = ""
+    if len(inp) > 1:
+        res = evaluate(inp)
+    else:
+        res = evaluate(get_base_advice())
+
+    return res

plugins/help.py

@@ -2,29 +2,8 @@ import re
 
 from util import hook
 
-
 @hook.command(autohelp=False)
 def help(inp, bot=None, pm=None):
     ".help [command] -- gives a list of commands/help for a command"
 
-    funcs = {}
-    disabled = bot.config.get('disabled_plugins', [])
-    disabled_comm = bot.config.get('disabled_commands', [])
-    for command, (func, args) in bot.commands.iteritems():
-        fn = re.match(r'^plugins.(.+).py$', func._filename)
-        if fn.group(1).lower() not in disabled:
-            if command not in disabled_comm:
-                if func.__doc__ is not None:
-                    if func in funcs:
-                        if len(funcs[func]) < len(command):
-                            funcs[func] = command
-                    else:
-                        funcs[func] = command
-
-    commands = dict((value, key) for key, value in funcs.iteritems())
-
-    if not inp:
-        pm('available commands: ' + ' '.join(sorted(commands)))
-    else:
-        if inp in commands:
-            pm(commands[inp].__doc__)
+    pm("Lol, you think there's help. How cute.")

plugins/plinkett.py

@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+from random import choice
+from util import hook
+
+quotes = []
+
+with open("./plugins/data/plinkett.txt", "r") as fin:
+    quotes = fin.readlines()
+
+@hook.command
+@hook.regex("^plinkett fact$")
+def plinkett(inp):
+    return choice(quotes)

plugins/pony.py

@@ -16,23 +16,27 @@ def get_time(ep):
 def when(inp, say=None):
     #"Shows the countdown to the new episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!"
 
-    ep = ponyapi.newest()
-    now, then, td = get_time(ep)
-    seasonep = ""
+    try:
+        ep = ponyapi.newest()
+        now, then, td = get_time(ep)
+        seasonep = ""
 
-    if inp == "discord":
-        return "%s will air on %s" % (ep[u"name"], DDate(then))
+        if inp == "discord":
+            return "%s will air on %s" % (ep[u"name"], DDate(then))
 
-    if ep[u"is_movie"]:
-        seasonep = "(a movie)"
-    else:
-        seasonep = "(season %d episode %d)" % (ep[u"season"], ep[u"episode"])
+        if ep[u"is_movie"]:
+            seasonep = "(a movie)"
+        else:
+            seasonep = "(season %d episode %d)" % (ep[u"season"], ep[u"episode"])
 
-    reply = "%s %s will air on %s in %d days!" % (
-                ep[u"name"], seasonep, then.strftime("%a, %d %b %Y %H:%M:%S"),
-                td.days)
+        reply = "%s %s will air on %s in %d days!" % (
+                    ep[u"name"], seasonep, then.strftime("%a, %d %b %Y %H:%M:%S"),
+                    td.days)
 
-    return reply
+        return reply
+
+    except:
+        return "404! We're on hiatus!"
 
 @hook.command
 def randomep(inp):

plugins/shitposting.py

@@ -4,23 +4,35 @@ from util import hook
 def skeltal(_):
     return "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10pqeNBg5d0"
 
-@hook.regex(r"^([hH])(|[?!])$")
+@hook.regex(r"^([hH])([?!]*)$")
 def h(inp, channel=None, conn=None):
     suff = ""
-    if inp.group(2) == "?":
-        suff = "!"
-    elif inp.group(2) == "!":
-        suff = "?"
+    if inp.group(2).startswith("?"):
+        suff = inp.group(2).replace("?", "!")
+    elif inp.group(2).startswith("!"):
+        suff = inp.group(2).replace("!", "?")
     return inp.group(1) + suff
 
+@hook.regex(r"^(|press )([xfh]) to pay respects$")
+def pay_respects(inp):
+    return inp.group(2)
+
 @hook.regex("dQw4w9WgXcQ")
 def rickrollProtector(inp):
     return "linked a rick roll, watch out"
 
 @hook.regex("[kK]-[lL]ine")
 def kline(inp):
-    return "http://i.imgur.com/FQjQgyB.jpg"
+    return "https://i.imgur.com/FQjQgyB.jpg"
 
 @hook.command
 def botsnack(inp):
     return ":D"
+
+@hook.command
+def debian_init(inp):
+    return "part 1: http://aceattorney.sparklin.org/player.php?trial_id=57684"
+
+@hook.regex("^i kno u r but wat am  i >:P$")
+def gay(inp):
+    return "gay"

plugins/urlhistory.py

@@ -1,80 +0,0 @@
-import math
-import time
-
-from util import hook, urlnorm, timesince
-
-
-expiration_period = 60 * 60 * 24  # 1 day
-
-ignored_urls = [urlnorm.normalize("http://google.com")]
-
-
-def db_init(db):
-    db.execute("create table if not exists urlhistory"
-               "(chan, url, nick, time)")
-    db.commit()
-
-
-def insert_history(db, chan, url, nick):
-    db.execute("insert into urlhistory(chan, url, nick, time) "
-               "values(?,?,?,?)", (chan, url, nick, time.time()))
-    db.commit()
-
-
-def get_history(db, chan, url):
-    db.execute("delete from urlhistory where time < ?",
-               (time.time() - expiration_period,))
-    return db.execute("select nick, time from urlhistory where "
-                      "chan=? and url=? order by time desc", (chan, url)).fetchall()
-
-
-def nicklist(nicks):
-    nicks = sorted(dict(nicks), key=unicode.lower)
-    if len(nicks) <= 2:
-        return ' and '.join(nicks)
-    else:
-        return ', and '.join((', '.join(nicks[:-1]), nicks[-1]))
-
-
-def format_reply(history):
-    if not history:
-        return
-
-    last_nick, recent_time = history[0]
-    last_time = timesince.timesince(recent_time)
-
-    if len(history) == 1:
-        return "%s linked that %s ago." % (last_nick, last_time)
-
-    hour_span = math.ceil((time.time() - history[-1][1]) / 3600)
-    hour_span = '%.0f hours' % hour_span if hour_span > 1 else 'hour'
-
-    hlen = len(history)
-    ordinal = ["once", "twice", "%d times" % hlen][min(hlen, 3) - 1]
-
-    if len(dict(history)) == 1:
-        last = "last linked %s ago" % last_time
-    else:
-        last = "last linked by %s %s ago" % (last_nick, last_time)
-
-    return "that url has been posted %s in the past %s by %s (%s)." % (ordinal,
-                                                                       hour_span, nicklist(history), last)
-
-
-@hook.regex(r'([a-zA-Z]+://|www\.)[^ ]+')
-def urlinput(match, nick='', chan='', db=None, bot=None):
-    db_init(db)
-    url = urlnorm.normalize(match.group().encode('utf-8'))
-    if url not in ignored_urls:
-        url = url.decode('utf-8')
-        history = get_history(db, chan, url)
-        insert_history(db, chan, url, nick)
-
-        inp = match.string.lower()
-
-        for name in dict(history):
-            if name.lower() in inp:  # person was probably quoting a line
-                return               # that had a link. don't remind them.
-
-        if nick not in dict(history):
-            return format_reply(history)