72 lines
3.6 KiB
Markdown
72 lines
3.6 KiB
Markdown
---
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title: Coming Out
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date: 2015-12-01
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tags:
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- personal
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---
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I'd like to bring up something that has been hanging over my head for a
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long time. This is something I did try (and fail) to properly express way
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back in middle school, but now I'd like to get it all of my chest and let
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you know the truth of the matter.
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I don't feel comfortable with myself as I am right now. I haven't really
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felt comfortable with myself for at least 10 years, maybe more; I'm not
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entirely sure.
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At this point in my life I am really faced with a clear fork in the road.
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I can either choose to continue living how I currently do, lying to myself
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and others and saying everything is normal, or I can cooperate with the
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reality that my brain is telling me that I don't feel comfortable with
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myself as I have been for the last almost 22 years. I feel like I don't fit
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inside my own skin. I think it is overall better for me to face the facts
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and cooperate with reality. I have been repressing this off and on out of
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fear of being shot down or not accepted the way I want to be seen to you
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all. This has been a really hard thing for me to think through and even
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harder for me to work up the courage to start taking action towards. This
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is not a choice for me. I need to pursue this.
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In fact, I have been pursing this. My current business cards reflect who
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I really am. My co-workers accept my abnormal status (when compared to the
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majority of society), and even will help stand up for me if something goes
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south with regards to it.
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I fully understand how much information this is to take in at once. I know
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it will be difficult for you to hear that your firstborn son is actually a
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daughter in a son's body, but I am still the same person. Most of the
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changes that I want to pursue are purely cosmetic, but they are a bit more
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noticeable than changing hair color. I feel that transitioning to living
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as a woman like this will help me feel like I fit in with the world better
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and help to make me more comfortable with who I am and how I want other
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people to see me. Below I have collected some resources for you to look
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through. They will help for you to understand my views better explained
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in language you would be familiar with.
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I have been trialing a lot of possible first names to use, Zoe (the name
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you were going to give me if I was born a girl) did come to mind, but after
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meditating on it for a while I have decided that it doesn't fit me at all.
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The name I am going with for now and eventually will change my official
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documents to use is Christine Cadence Dodrill.
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Additionally I have been in a long-distance relationship with someone
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since mid-June 2014. His name is Victor and he lives in Ottawa, Ontario.
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He has been helping me a lot as I sort through all this; it has been a
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godsend. He is a student in college for Computer Science. He knows and is
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aware about my transition and has been a huge part of my emotional line
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of support as I have been accepting these facts about who I am.
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---
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Above is (a snipped version of) the letter I sent to my parents in the
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last 48 hours. With this I have officially come out to all of my friends
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and family as transgender. I am currently on hormone replacement therapy
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and have been living full time as a woman. My workplace is very accepting
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of this and has been a huge help over the last 7-8 months as I have
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battled some of my inner demons and decided to make things official.
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I am now deprecating my old [facebook account](https://facebook.com/shadowh511)
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and will be encouraging people to send friend requests and the like to my
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[new account under the correct name](https://www.facebook.com/chrissycade1337).
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Thank you all for understanding and be well.
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